A Saturday at Wrigley Field…

Aisle 425, Row 7, Seat 103. Damn my acrophobia. I hate walking down the few steps to Row 7. Pretty good view, though. It’s like some of these women think they’re coming to a Cubs game to be seen. And the dudes sitting in the aisle across from us? WOW. Both of them are wearing Montreal Expos jerseys and fitteds. In other news…I dig how there are a couple of people rocking Blackhawks apparel, though. I don’t feel so bad for wearing my Black Hawks(Original 6) fitted now. WHO wears heels to a Cubs game? A foul ball ended up being caught by a guy two rows in front of me. I didn’t even budge. I just never saw the point of climbing over someone to catch a foul ball. I wish Soriano was playing today. I laugh watching him playing leftfield. Randy Wells was one of the few Cubs that didn’t make me wanna throw my tv out of the window this season. I’m glad he had a good start; good way to finish his season. Not sure why the second beer tastes better than the first. Could it be the beginnings of a “buzz”? Food and drinks are expensive as hell at Wrigley. $6.50 for a beer, $4 for a hot dog. $3.25 for a pretzel, jeez… But, you have to eat SOMETHING, right? Recorded Ryne Sandberg singing the 7th Inning Stretch in “sepia”. Dope. Finally, Marmol closed this thing. Cubs win. Getting out of Wrigley is the tricky part. Wrigley is old as shit, and has too many narrow paths, considering 40,000 are leaving at basically the same time. And unlike in LA, where Dodgers fans start leaving at 7pm, regardless, Cubs fans usually stick around for all 9. Why do I miss Jada right now? Phone’s dying, but Jessica Rabbit just told me the Blackhawks AND Michigan St. won. Nice. I’m in the mood for some shrimp egg foo yung. With french toast. Tomorrow’s the last Cubs game of the year. Disappointing season, but at least I have Wrigley… P.S. I miss Karen!!! P.P.S. #shoutout to Uncle John, and all the Cubs fans out there that bleed blue and red…

What happened to you this year, Summer Solstice?

I cannot tell a lie. I did not fully enjoy this summer. I say this, mainly because of the uncharacteristic weather during the summer here in Chicago. Example: The average temperature during July (which is usually the hottest month during the year) was only 69.4 degrees. 69.4 degrees?!?! That’s great…for the month of April or May! Add the fact that Chicago borders Lake Michigan, and 69 degrees feels more like 64 degrees. I’m not sure if the temperature reached 90 degrees ONCE this summer. We rarely saw days where the temperature reached higher than 85 degrees, even. The 4th of July? Horrible. I don’t think the temperature was more than 75 degrees, and it was an overcast, rainy day. When you think of the summer, you think of hot, sun-filled days. When you can step outside at 9am and see nothing but sunshine. When you can step outside at 9pm and still feel the warmth that is the summer. It should not be hoodie or even light jacket season. It should be outdoor patio and rooftop dining season. Many of us had plans hindered by this past summer’s crappy weather. Whether it was an evening out, trip to the beach, or simple late-night walk. The summer brings joy and optimism, and frankly, this summer’s weather put a damper on many people’s moods. Couple that with the fact that the year 2009 has seemingly gone by faster than years’ past, and it almost feels as if there was no summer at all. Now, we find ourselves officially dealing with autumn. It’s a shock really, seeing as how so many didn’t get the proper chance to enjoy their summer. I guess that all we can do is wait for June 21, 2010, and hope that Summer Solstice puts forth a better effort to be there for us next go-round. P.S. I miss Karen!!! P.P.S. #shoutout to my favorite nerd

Please, take the gray crayon out of my box…

Let me start off by saying I’ve NEVER liked the color gray. In 7th grade, my Language Arts teacher gave our class a sheet of paper with 20 colors listed on it. We were asked to give a one-word description of each color. When I got to gray, I didn’t hesitate in writing by it, “indecisive”. I just saw it (and still see it) as a color that’s a combination of the two most bland, dry colors of the entire spectrum. Average. Mediocre. Not quite beautiful, but not quite ugly. A kind of middle ground. Neutrality. Those descriptions aren’t the worst…but they most certainly aren’t the best, either. We all have our black and white days. We have our highs and lows. Ups and downs. We climb to the top of the mountain on some days, and on others we jump off of the cliff. These are days, most often brought on by a specific occurrence, that we are most able to deal with. We know about happy and sad. But when were we ever taught how to handle what’s in between? My varsity baseball coach would tell our team: “Never get too high after a win, and never get too down after a loss. You have to find a middle ground.” I took that as, “Things can always get better or worse. Stay in between, and you’ll be just fine.” Now, I sort of view that as having the ability to be content. Stay in that gray area, content with a win or loss, and you’ll be able to move on more easily. Don’t go out and paint the town red after a good day, and don’t go head hunting after a bad one. Accept the fact that you can find a semi-purgatory, and park your car there. RSVP. If you have to, camp out the night before to get the best seats possible. I’m sorry, that just doesn’t register in my database. I hate not knowing where I stand. I hate “okay” or “aight” or “average”. I’m not a fan of “gray” or “grey”. I’ve never even liked the word “opaque” or “translucent”. If it’s not transparent, I try to stay away. In my opinion, the color gray can mask so many feelings. Gray skies are the worst indicator of the weather, even. You’re not sure whether the sun will come out, or whether there will be a storm coming. It’s confusing. Mind-boggling. Heart-wrenching. I would describe a person with a straight face as a “gray person”. Some might view a straight face as a serious one, but I tend to view it as a face that’s attempting to hide something. I’d much rather a person smile or frown than keep a straight face. Personally, I think it’s nothing more than a forced expression. Think about it. If you had to choose one color to describe the “Mona Lisa”, wouldn’t gray be a fairly accurate answer? Some art experts STILL have no clue how to read her face. I’m not sure whether she’s trying to contain a Cheshire-like smile or a menacing snarl that would make Genghis Khan jealous, myself. Plain, and simple, I’m no fan of gris… P.S. I miss Karen!!! P.P.S. #shoutout to my…

Friday randomness…

That Nelson Mandela hookah still has me in a sort-of zone. I see Moe digs the Tangiers, which is cool…except for the fact that I HATE orange soda. I don’t drink anything orange (I would rather tough out a cold than drink orange juice, especially with pulp), don’t eat orange skittles, and for some reason find it hard to bring myself to eat orange M&M’s. It feels good to get everything you need to get done accomplished during the week so you can have the weekends to yourself. It’s not often when you can truly enjoy your weekends; but that’s mostly due to not TCB during the week. I could really go for a slice of philly steak pizza. I cannot believe that it was so good. I’m tempted to trek to Greektown RIGHT NOW, just for a slice. I’m REALLY tired of the “BREAKING NEWS: Kanye interrupted Patrick Swayze’s funeral to say that Michael Jackson’s was better.” jokes. It was KIND OF funny the first time. But now, after seeing it for the 1,173rd time? Not so much. I haven’t had a s’mores Pop Tart in a couple of days. Damn. I wish my Random Jazzy Woman were here with me right now. It’s so great to find someone that doesn’t equate mushiness to expressing yourself. I don’t want to or need to be called “boo”, “baby”, or “sweetie” all damn day long. You’re mad cool, Charleston Chew. I can’t believe how “elegant” @daydreams85 looked last night. She used to be the jeans-and-sneakers chick…heavy. And now she’s all semi-dolled up and ish. Good for her. Taylor Swift has a song about being in love at 15? Um…ok. When is there gonna be an all-male version of The View? And no, I don’t mean a mainstream version of The Man Show (w/Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Corrolla). I’m looking for a pair of REAL Yeezys. Size 11, holla at me. I’m geeked for the start of the Blackhawks and Bulls season. Unfortunately, either Toews, Kane, or Keith is gonna have to go after the season. I suggest that Bowman keep Toews and Kane, and let that pair lead the Blackhawks to a couple of Stanley Cups over the next decade. He should go after a bigger defenseman to serve as a shadow for Kane. The Bulls should hope that Dwayne Wade wants to trade in sunshine and no sales tax (Miami) for horrible year-long weather and the highest sales tax in the country (Chicago). Cutler stunk it up against Green Bay, but it’s not the end of the world. When the Bears beat the Steelers on Sunday, I expect to see a lot more “fans” jump back on the bandwagon. I can’t believe how dope Raekwon’s (@RAEKWONICEWATER) “Only Built 4 Cuban Linx II” is. I honestly didn’t expect it to be this good. Almost expected to hear an out-of-touch Raekwon. #figures My favorite tracks were produced by Alchemist (@AlanTheChemist) and J Dilla. And track 4, “Pyrex Vision”, even though only 55 seconds long, is possibly the illest beat. Ups to Marley Marl for that production. If you haven’t heard Nicolay’s (@nicolaymusic) “City Lights Vol. 2: Shibuya”, I STRONGLY suggest you purchase that album. IMMEDIATELY. Just hearing Carlitta Durand’s (@CarlittaDurand) voice on “Saturday Night” makes me wanna go out and get it in EVERY night. I do believe I’ll be visiting this frequency more often… P.S. I miss Karen!!! P.P.S. #shoutout to all of my readers and Twitter followers…

Analyze its circumference, and then make moves…

My circle is not very big. There aren’t even a dozen people in my circle. Some parts are permanent; others are more on the side of interchangeable. It’s hard for our generation to even maintain a circle because it seems like we don’t have any time for each other. Mainly, because the majority of us are in our early, mid-20s, with jobs, in school, or working on strengthening a relationship or family. Our down time is our down time. We don’t intend to incorporate our friends into our daily lives as much as we once did, either. Remember high school? Most likely, your parents couldn’t tell you shit about who to befriend or be in a relationship with. So what if dude never goes to class and is one suspension away from being expelled? So what if she’s constantly fighting and hanging around the varsity football team–as a freshman? It didn’t matter; those were our peers. We didn’t even realize back then that we couldn’t count on everybody. The more people that you could call your friend at that age, the better you felt about yourself. Regardless of how much or how little they actually acted like genuine friends. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that my circle needs to be stronger and stronger with each passing day. Everyone in my circle needs to know that I’d never do anything to break it, as well. As a generation, I believe that too many of us try to include too many people in our lives, let alone our circles. We add and add and add until we eventually acknowledge that maybe it wasn’t such a great strategy after all. Women do it with women and men, men do it with men and women…it’s almost a never ending cycle. We allow people to use and abuse us, and deter us from where we need to go, and not want to. We are a generation of Myspace and Facebook, where accumulating a high number of “friends” is more important than focusing on the real friends that we do have. Sadly, I’m not even sure many of my peers even have a circle. THAT scares me… P.S. I miss Karen!!! P.P.S. #shoutout to a clean break and everyone in my circle…you know who you are

To Jay-Z, or not to Jay-Z?

Anyone that knows me knows that even though I’m a fan of Jay-Z, I really haven’t truly appreciated his music since Reasonable Doubt. In 8th grade, when he was on a track with DMX, titled “Money, Cash, Hoes”, I thought to myself, ‘THIS is the greatest since Biggie?’ I felt that he kind of became the king by default. While Snoop had national appeal in the early 90s, in the mid, late 90s, rap had a more East Coast feel. Think about it. What has Snoop done since Doggystyle? He’s had a nice single here and there, but I’m not sure what the hell he’s doing nowadays. Is he singing? Rapping? Rapping and singing? Oy vey… I digress. Jay-Z has released Blueprint 3. From what I’ve heard, I have no reason not to buy this album. I’m not someone that is skeptical because he’s 40+. An emcee is an emcee, point, blank, peri-ahd. I sometimes wonder… Is Jay-Z still making music PURELY for the love of it, or to periodically assert himself in the game? It’s unfair to solely accuse Jay of perpetuating an artist disguising a hunger for attention, money, and commercialism with something that I should hear. I just find myself going back to Reasonable Doubt. Besides the lyricism, there was a hunger and passion that seemed to subside a little once Jay found fame and fortune. Again, he’s not the only one to start out starving like Marvin, and turn into Garfield. (Don’t get me started on Wayne) It’s just I believe he should be held to a higher standard, if he is, since unretired, the best rapper alive(sorry, Wayne). Guess I’ll be copping @RAEKWONICEWATER Only Built For Cuban Linx 2 and BP3 tomorrow… P.S. I miss Karen! P.P.S. #shoutout to Tiara in her tiara, KMo, Minnie Mouse, Adam J., @MoeRucker, Peach, and my “anounomus” texter…

Tales of a conversationalist…

There aren’t many of us out there. Conversationalists, I mean. People that understand that two don’t conversate; they converse. I fully understand why everyone is in my life. Completely, and without any reservation. There are less than a handful, however, that I can turn to when looking to engage in deep, meaningful conversation. Sports, politics, news, entertainments, sneakers, fruit snacks, cartoons…it doesn’t matter. I simply like to know that others have something to contribute, no matter the topic. I’m not interested in those that become Socratic when under the influence. Nor am I impressed by those who believe that being pretentious and loquacious is akin to being a skilled conversationalist. I guess what I look for more often in a fellow conversationalist is passion. It’s expected that we disagree every so often. What keeps me interested is a conversation that’s not one-sided. Don’t attempt to appease me by waving your white flag and deciding that the convo has gotten too deep for you to handle. If you feel 2+3=5, stand up for your belief. It’s nice to rap with someone that is learned of many things, as well. One of my pet peeves is a person that “knows everything, but don’t know shit”(Kanye). Deep conversation can be intelligent conversation as well. All too often, we consciously steer clear of certain topics that we think are controversial. I’d rather take the opposite approach. Passionately convey points and articulate yourself in such a way that all those involved will be able to focus on what it is you’re saying, and not what you’re talking about. I don’t keep in touch with as many people as I did several years ago, mainly because my taste in the people I surround myself with has changed a great deal. All of that filler conversation is great–just not for me. I need a challenge, and having to “dumb it down”(Lupe) isn’t conducive to my current mindstate or lifestyle. Till the next conversation… P.S. I miss Karen! P.P.S. Octavia E. Butler is ill. P.P.P.S. #shoutout to my fellow nocturnal/early-morn conversationalist

I’m her hope diamond…

I received the dopest compliment ever recently. I was told by Adaj that…I’m her Hope Diamond. Sitting encased, inside of the Smithsonian Museum, in Washington, D.C., out of reach. Heavily guarded. Unattainable. A dreamer’s most outlandish dream. Because of certain circumstances, basically untouchable. I can’t even lie, I was caught off guard. It’s one thing to be told that you’re wanted, but it’s completely different to be compared to a nearly 200 year-old, 45 carat, $300million piece of history. You know how it’s said that “A diamond is a girl’s best friend”? This rock would turn Medusa into a beautiful, grateful, and cheerful PYT. You give your wife this diamond, and you’ll be her king for forever and a day. This diamond has so much history behind it…it’s actually cursed. To be told that you are someone’s pristine, out-of-sight treasure is mos def in the area of mind-blowing. In the vicinity of awe-inspiring. The proximity of “Whoa”, if I may add. I’ve received compliments before; we all have. But, to be put in the same boat as, in some people’s eyes, the most beautiful material object on the face of the Earth… Excuse me if my record skipped a little bit. Pardon me if my heart beat short. I apologize if my smile was big enough to make a pageant contestant cringe. Plain and simple, I’m someone’s Hope Diamond. And that is something that the average pair of ears don’t have the pleasure of hearing everyday, let alone once in a lifetime. You’re killing me, Snickerdoodle… P.S. I miss Karen!!! P.P.S. #shoutout to Adaj Droftaw(*kick in shin*)

I’m here…

All I can do is say, ‘I’m here’. I won’t say anything else, as I have no desire to do so. And yet, some want SO MUCH MORE from me. I feel that it’s time for an inventory check. I’m not even afraid that some might have to be discarded in order to protect the integrity of the entire group. You can’t run a productive and efficient business with obsolete and ineffective products. It’s not that I dislike a person(s) so greatly; moreso acknowledging how little he/she contributes to Foxhole Moon’s cause. As time passes, it becomes frighteningly aware that some people just aren’t up to the task of cementing their place in my dimension. Come to think of it, I believe some don’t even want to make a half-ass effort to gain visitors passes. My patience with these people has worn thin. I never intended for things to be this way. It almost, basically, just happened. I’m not sure how or why it did, but I’m glad. A good number of people underestimate the relevance of such contributions, without hesitation. The rest? They’ve chosen to make a full-fledged effort to usher any wack people out of the theatre, and to the curb. No refunds given, and take your fucking popcorn with you. Am I being harsh? Possibly. Am I being honest? Child, please… P.S. I miss Karen! P.P.S. Your heart doesn’t need to be made of fine china in order for me to take care not to break it…

Crushes

I HAD to chore(ups to @bishlu77 for the new vernacular)this one from my Blogspot page…
Seriously, I’ve probably had 1,000 crushes in my lifetime. They might last a day, week, or month. I could have a crush on one chick, or two,or six at a time. She could be Black, White, Italian, Greek, Cuban, Mexican, et cetera. Goth-emo chick or round-the-way girl. My crush could range from a chick from Westwood, Cali to Bridgeport, Connecticut. Sneaker chicks. Heel chicks. Loud chicks. Quiet chicks. Party animals. Homebodies. Chicks that smoke weed. Chicks that don’t even sip liquor. She could be in love with me or not even know I exist. I might crush on someone because of a hat or scarf she wears. Maybe because of her sneakers or the fact that she sounds hot when she says the word “fuck”. I crush on brainiacs and chicks that don’t know the difference between digital and analog. I crush on uppity chicks and those that embody the meaning of humble. I’ve crushed on athletes and cheerleaders. I’ve crushed on a model and a chick that has never owned makeup. She’s been a hard-core Conservative and a full-blown hippie. Sports or reality show fanatic. Thick and slim. Long hair, short hair. All of these are simply crushes. And there are plenty more where those came from… P.S. My current crush is a stretch, but a crush nonetheless…