Todas las madres solteras …

Let me start this blog off by saying this: I believe being a single mother is the HARDEST JOB ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH. I say that, and I have an uncle that is a neurosurgeon. Start with the basics. Carrying the child. 9 months of SHEER HELL. Mood swings, weight gain, fatigue, sickness, and did I forget to mention, mood swings? A woman having to abandon a lifestyle that may include smoking and drinking. No partying. Leaving her job, and in some cases, school. A woman’s life is turned upside down during the MOST HELLACIOUS 9 months that a human being can endure. And, did I mention the mood swings? Now, the water breaks, and she’s being rushed to the hospital. I had a friend that screamed for an epidural AS SOON as her husband and I helped her into the car. My response:”Dana, we have to wait till we get you to the hospital.” Her response: “Fuck you, Erik!” Such a peach, you are, Dana. A woman is wheeled into the delivery room, and is basically prepped to do combat with a being that no longer wants to remain in her womb. My aunt delivered her daughter in 37 minutes; it took Dana almost 40 hours. That’s an average work week for a full-time employee. Golly! The baby’s born, the umbilical cord is cut, and hopefully, without problems, the mother and child can go home to start their new lives. And therein lies the problem. Where is the father? I tweeted that no matter whether a father is taken or leaves, a single mother is a single mother. Here comes that hard part that I was talking about: single motherhood. As with every group of people, there are bad apples. There are mothers that use the excuse of being a single mother to let their child run amok and wreak havoc. Using the excuse that because they’re a single mother, they can’t pursue an education or get a job. Exhibiting laziness because they’re only doing what the father has done. Instilling in their children the bitterness that consumes them. Telling their daughters that men are no good, and their sons that they’ll grow up and amount to nothing like their father. Deciding to be content with receiving aid and not motivating their children to be better than them, because they view it as pointless. They are the reason that so many feel that it’s impossible for a single woman to raise a child on her own. People bring up the percentages of wayward children raised by single mothers and attribute that statistic to a supposed woman’s inability to raise a child by herself. There are people that believe that a woman can’t teach a boy how to be a man, and can’t teach a girl how to be a woman without somehow corrupting her mind with the idea that men are nothing but low-down, dirty scoundrels. Obviously, I disagree. A few bad apples shouldn’t spoil the bunch. Poor examples are just that: poor examples. Let us focus moreso on the good examples. A woman who goes home with her child, knowing that she is about to embark on a solo journey that will test her commitment not only to womanhood, but to her child as well. Not letting an absent father deter her from starting, or completing an education, or pursuing a professional career. Managing to maintain a healthy social life, while still being able to care for her child. Raising her son to be a respectful man. Raising her daughter to be an upstanding woman. A single mother that provides a stable household for her child, despite a deadbeat dad. A single mother that KEEPS HER FOOT IN HER CHILD’S ASS EVERY SINGLE DAY(like my hard-ass of a mom, Karen did)regardless of the fact that society may see her as soft and maternal. Stressing education, culture, and professionalism. Teaching her son how to tie a tie, and how to throw a right jab(thanks, Karen). Not allowing a man to come off the street and in between her and her child. Not buying new clothes, accessories, or splurging on lavish items so that their child can have, and not want. There are strong Black, White, Latino, Asian, African, Australian, Canadian, South American, Caribbean, and European women EVERYWHERE that bust their asses EVERYDAY, without the help of ANYONE, in order to raise their children to be productive and successful members of society. They realize that there are some mothers that only tarnish the reputation of single mothers. They know that there are men that view them as weak and in over their heads. And yet, they are persistent in their daily efforts to work the hardest job known to man. To the single mothers that do that job well, I commend you. I’ve said it before…Mother’s Day does you no justice. P.S. I miss Karen aka the BEST SINGLE MOTHER OF ALL TIME!!! P.P.S. #shoutout to Adrienne, Christian, Tracy(Mint!), Lacey, Samantha, Taylor, Sydney, Tae, and ALL of the single mothers that dispel the notion that a woman can’t hold down the fort by herself…


9 comments

  1. lol dr. erik frat i love it it made me laugh and think which is really good … keep writing you will inspire the world one laugh at a time

  2. I don’t know If I said it already but …Hey good stuff…keep up the good work! 🙂 I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks,)

    A definite great read..Jim Bean

  3. Word, E! Single mothers are awesome, because society doesn’t expect a woman to be able to maintain a household and earn a living at the same time. I had the pleasure of knowing your mom, or Karen, personally, and I see that she was part of the inspiration for you to write this blog. Well done, Mr. Brown.


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