Attention, man-bashers…

I love ALL of my homegirls. I love #myfuturewife(because she’s my homegirl as well as my womanfriend), the tomboy, the prissy diva, the closet lesbian, the flamboyant lesbian, the nerd, Grace Jones(yeah, you, Carly), the workaholic, Peach, the Animal, my PB, T-N-T, and the bfff. I love all of them as if they were my sisters. I’m here whenever they need me. I’ve had conversations about periods, men, women, pregnancy, oral, vaginal, and anal sex, heartbreak, infidelity, bad ass children, “hating” females, crazy ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends, a desire to be married and have kids, insecurity issues, mammograms and pap smears, and sometimes I sat with the phone to my ear while they cried. I don’t mind any of it. I appreciate that when they’re down or need advice(especially advice from a male on how to “deal with males”), they come to me. Be it Twitter, Facebook, e-mail, text, phone call or BBM, they know that I’m here for them. One thing I want NO part of: man-bashing. I am not in the business of hearing, “Niggas ain’t shit”, “All men are dogs”, “There are no good men available”, and my personal favorite: “I hate men. I’m done with them.” I totally understand that some women get frustrated with us(men). Correction: I totally understand that most women get frustrated with us(men). I truly do. But does that give you the right to generalize and throw the good guys on your shit lists along with the bad ones? I applaud those of you that call out poor examples of men. I think it should happen more often, actually. However, I just don’t understand how it helps to make a statement denouncing the ENTIRE male species. Example: A former friend, “Taye”, called me and told me about a consecutive string of bad dates. Either the guy didn’t want to pay her way, answered phone calls or replied to texts while on the date, or made it clear that he was ultimately interested in sex. Obviously, I could see why Taye would be frustrated. “Men ain’t shit, I swear. I’m just gon’ leave ya’ll alone.” Those were her exact words. Now, she told me about 5 or 6 failures(in her world, at least). Last time I checked, there are MILLIONS of men on this planet, and in this country. So how can you make a statement about an entire group of people based on your experiences with a very small, microscopic, minute number of that population? Isn’t that the same as a racist that sees a story on the news about black male gangbangers that sell drugs, and uses that information to claim that all black males gangbang and sell drugs? In my opinion, it’s VIRTUALLY the same. It pains me to hear a woman complain about the horrible men she’s been with, and apply the “loser” tag she’s given to those men to men everywhere. It reeks of immaturity, and to an extent, bitterness. If you’ve found yourself involved with 5 or 6 losers in a row, please, do the following: Take a step back from the relationship shtick. Hell, don’t date for a while, either. Examine the men that you’ve been dealing with and what they have added to and subtracted from your life. Then examine yourself and analyze whether you’ve made some bad choices, or bad luck(in the form of men)happens to find you. All man-bashing serves as is a reinforcement that men are no good. That, eventually, we’ll cheat on you, take your money, lie to you, hurt you, and just plain ol’ let you down. That we present you with roses, only for you to discover later on that they were fake all along. It’s WACK, ladies. I know that deep down, most of you man-bashers don’t really believe what you’re saying. You’ve mainly said it out of frustration. You’re pissed. Tired of exerting the maximum effort and not seeing any reciprocity from his end. Exhausted by the fact that you’re willing to do anything for him while he’s oblivious to your wants and needs. It’s a horrible feeling, to be let down in any way. I don’t think it gives you good reason to turn your back on an entire group of people, though. Something else that man-bashing does is turn off prospective suitors, ladies. No man with good sense wants anything to do with a woman that feels as if a few bad apples should spoil the bunch. I know I sure don’t want to hear from Jane that because her last 3 boyfriends cheated on her, she feels as if she can’t trust men period. It’s called maturity. And I believe maturity would come through in that situation, allowing Jane to realize that those 3 guys were dishonest assholes, and not representatives or spokesmen for men everywhere. To all of my homegirls and ALL women(especially you mb’ers), I understand that we put you through too much much, too often. We put more on your plate than you need to or should consume, and too many of us are abstracted from giving you what you need. I hear your cries, complaints, and pleas. There are PLENTY of other men that hear them as well. All we need is a chance(well, I don’t need one, because my womanfriend is dope)to show that there ARE good men, available, and waiting to snap you out of your man-bashing ways… P.S. I miss Karen!!! P.P.S. #shoutout to all my dudes and chicks that keep a level head when bullshit rises to the surface…


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