Gender roles in 2010? Part II

I “briefly” touched on the rise of men that are becoming dependent on women in my last blog. Some will say that there’s been a surge in sugar mamas, while others will point to an increase in laziness and complacency among men. What’s clear is a power shift, people.

I mainly wrote about how men and women seemed to have switched roles, in terms of professional and financial prosperity. Today, I will discuss the roles in society that we play versus what is expected of us.

One of my friends dumped her boyfriend several weeks ago. To be honest, I saw it coming from a mile away. He just seemed a little too wrapped up in my friend, and I know that she doesn’t want a yes man, but a man. When she broke the bad news, his reaction was…surprising. He left her a series of voicemails, crying profusely, begging for a second chance. “I’m not even sure what I need to change, but I’ll change, baby!” It was absolutely amazing, like seeing Bigfoot. You believe that he’s out there, but you can’t be totally sure until you’ve actually seen him. I’ve had male friends that took being dumped pretty roughly, but never had I experience anything of this magnitude.

What was even more surprising was my friend’s reaction. She played the voicemails on speakerphone for myself and a few friends, and then laughed as if her ex was telling the funniest joke known to man. This was not a giggle. This was a full-bore, cackling, loud ass laugh. It seriously amused her to know that her ex was being so “soft”. I admit, I laughed too, but not after thinking to myself, ‘What the hell is going on here?’

‘Have the tables turned?’ I thought to myself, again. I thought back to my own personal experiences with ending relationships, and how hard it was to get her to let it go. Don’t call crying or begging, because it won’t work. Yes, I get it, you miss me. That won’t help, either. Then I recalled how crude, cavalier, and callous I was, and was honestly, a little disgusted. After all, people can’t help how they feel, and I didn’t make the breakups easier by acting as if it weren’t that big of a deal. I just assumed that most women simply didn’t know how to accept that it’s over and would do whatever it took to somehow change our minds.

Boy, did my friend prove me wrong. It’s not just her that would’ve reacted like that, either. After taking the story to Twitter the following day, a number of women agreed that her response was warranted, and that soft, supersensitive men are not to be tolerated. Huh? I would’ve sworn that just a few years ago, all I heard from women is that they were tired of the over aggressive, rude, uncompassionate men that constantly approached them. I thought that they wanted sensitive men. Hell, I figured some of them even wanted a man that is in touch with his feminine side, too. What’s that saying about people that assume?

Now, I don’t believe that the tears and begging are becoming a staple of today’s men. But I do believe that women are flipping the script on us, whether they know it or not. Whether they’re doing it to be spiteful or because they genuinely feel a particular way, they’re certainly sending us into a whirlwind. It has us conversing with each other, trying to figure out whether men are indeed becoming soft. Talking about the possibility that maybe, men are just being honest about their feelings for women for a change. So many of us do things to cover up our love and appreciation for our women, that now, expressing such feelings seems a little odd. Especially seeing or hearing a grown man cry over a lost love. ODD.

I have more than a few female friends. They all feel free to say what they want around me, which I sometimes regret. To hear them talk about men the way my male friends and I talk about women (sometimes) is definitely something that has captured my attention. This is not the typical, tv, “girl talk”. They don’t sit around playing gin, drinking tea in their Sunday best. The way men discuss their sexual prowess and escapades, my female friends do the same. I’m sure the discussions get even more graphic when I’m not around. They’re not afraid to express their desire for sex, either. Scrolling through their phones, checking text messages, and listening to voice mails, trying to decide on who their next conquest will be. The only big difference between my female friends and my male friends is that my male friends tend to discuss sports more often.

Which brings me to my next point. Have you noticed how many women are sports nuts now? No, I’m not talking about the women that cheer for a team based on their colors, or how cute the players are, but women that are actually knowledgeable. Women that recite stats and player biographies as if they’d spent the night cramming for an exam. The ones that are sitting in a sports bar with their eyes glued to the television sets, and not the other guys in the place. There are more female sports reporters, journalists, anchors, broadcasters, and commentators. Women are taking their knowledge of sports to the internet, posting blogs, and hosting podcasts. A perfect example would be Blackhawks fans on Twitter. I can assure you that women are their biggest fans, and hockey is about as violent (and because of fighting, slightly more barbaric) a sport as football. And yet, the women I follow go absolutely apeshit over the Blackhawks and what happens on and off the ice.

Physicality, aggressiveness, and assertiveness are displayed by more women, also. I am perfectly aware of the “Girlfights” DVDs, but that’s not what I’m referring to. Submissiveness doesn’t seem to be on the mind of many women today. The word “bitch” has never flown with women, but now they’re doing more than asking, “Who are you calling a bitch?!” I’ve seen both young girls and women “throw hands” at the drop of a dime. And they scrapped. We’re seeing loads of fiery competitiveness and at times, belligerence in sports, with soccer player Elizabeth Lambert and tennis player Serena Williams serving as “fine” examples. I hear more profanity and foul language from everyday young girls and women, too. You’ll hear it sometimes when women joke with each other, similar to that good ol’ boy, fraternity brother ribbing that men are known for. We are starting to hear more and more women speak out for what they believe in, and this was before Hillary Clinton decided to run for president.

Are the “gender roles” in the process of full reversal? I doubt it. As long as men and women continue to put up fronts, we’ll never know everyone’s true intentions. There are men that portray Cassanova, knowing deep down inside that they’re as soft as Charmin, and women that give off the images of harlots when they’re really hopeless romantics. I don’t think it’s as much about a reversal in gender roles as much as women feeling truly tired of being placed in a dainty, pristine little box, and want to be free to do and say as they please, which is the same luxury given to men. And I definitely don’t have a problem with that, ladies…

P.S. I miss Karen!!!

P.P.S. #shoutout to Billie Frechette, Elle Boogy, Sarahsota, Peach, LJack, Moksha, Lara, Krys, Jean Grey, Martina (who I haven’t seen in EONS), Kiy, Ducy, Sam-I-Am, and Ambuh, my homegulls…


  1. Your second to last sentence sums it up perfectly. I don’t think most women are acting out. It’s 2010, and we finally feel free to let our hair down, take our bras off, and do what the fuck we want to do and say whatever the fuck we want to say.

      • I agree with Lauren. The second to last sentence is in the heads of many women. We’re so tired of having to be prissy and perfect all of the time, mainly for men. It gets tiring, which is why we can be such huge bitches. Well done, sir!

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