Flirting Without Follow Through is Nothing But Trouble

R. Kelly’s 2007 video “I’m A Flirt”

Lately I’ve been observing the age old practice of flirting. Whether we do it consciously or subconsciously, it’s a part of our lives, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. The cute server gives you that smile and a wink in addition to your diet coke. But what’s the point of it all? Now I know why people do it.

“It’s an ego thing. To see if I still got it.”

“It’s fun and makes me feel young again. I know that it isn’t going anywhere, and that’s nice to not feel pressure or obligation.”

These are some of the things I hear when I ask people why they flirt. Especially if they’re not going to go all the way with the innocent little flirtee. For those of you who flirt for these and other superficial reasons, I’m here to warn you. You’re setting yourself up for nothing but trouble. Take Lauren for example. She flirts religiously, just about every time she goes out with the girls she pulls at least 3 different guys, gets them to buy her drinks, and collects their numbers with no intention of ever calling them. She’s pretty regular at doing this, and had been lucky enough not to suffer any repercussions. Until she met David. David fell right into the trap of being wooed by Lauren. He bought her drinks, they chatted and exchanged numbers. David was ecstatic. He thought they’d hit it off and did what any normal person would do the next day. He called Lauren.

“Why the hell is this guy calling me?! Doesn’t he know I was just having a good time?”

Needless to say David did not know he was being used for personal gain, and Lauren ignored his next few calls until he eventually gave up.  A few weeks later while out with the girls, Lauren ran into David, and he wasn’t pleased. A confrontation ensued where he demanded answers as to why she ignored his repeated phone calls, ending with David calling her all types of malicious names. Lauren didn’t even remember who the hell he was. Now some would say that David overreacted. Maybe. But is he wrong for feeling used? No. Because that’s exactly what Lauren did. She used David as a personal ego stroker.   This scenario isn’ t extreme, but it goes to show that flirters need to think about more than just their egos. There are people out there with real feelings and hopes of finding love, or at least a date for Saturday night. As for me, I don’t really do the flirting thing, unless I actually have an interest in you. It’s just pointless.

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