i’m not natural because i like the earth (and i don’t smoke weed while listening to erykah): an admission of guilt.

i didn’t decide that i no longer was going to perm my hair because i wanted to become a bit closer to my roots; it was more like something to do.

in fact, the first few month–perhaps even year–i fought with myself in order to refrain from relaxing my hair.

i was just being lazy, honestly–thrifty, if you wanna be nice.

i became tired of spending money every few months to relax my hair.

and the hairdresser every two weeks?

meh. i had better shit to do.

so there’s no need to greet me with a “right on”, as though this is the 1960s-1970s.

i’m not your “sista” (although… poppa was a rolling stone).

i’m just a bit of a sloth when it came to the hair shit.

i don’t knock anyone who gets relaxers.

nor do i think any other chick is special because she doesn’t.

there is a genuine divide in the black hair community, and, often, i find that many of us who do not get relaxers seem to think that we are better than those who do.

i do very much agree that there is a stigma about black hair (of all types) and its inherent “nappiness”, and we must have confidence in our natural hair, but there is no reason to prejudge a woman for how she chooses to wear her hair.

and if you are of the variety of woman who believes that every woman who relaxes her hair does so because she has some underlying hatred for herself and her race, i implore you to reconsider your poor judgement.

relaxers make the hair more manageable, and in some, if not most, cases, this is the reason a woman chooses to relax. not everyone has the wherewithal to do more to her own hair than to wrap it every night, just as i choose to do nothing, most nights, to mine.  point-blank.

oh. and if you think that you are better because you aren’t doing extreme damage to your hair, let me ask you a few questions:

do you dye your hair? damage.

more than once a year? damage.

do you grease your hair? clogging your pores.

do the products you use have alcohol (which most mousses, gels, etc. do)? damage.

do you shampoo your hair? drying it out.

do you protect your hair from sun, wind, cold? if no, damage.

and, man, don’t get me started on how many women in both of these groups of people love to judge women who wear weaves/wigs–that’s a whole new topic.

i find it abhorrent that so many black women still allow ourselves to be divided by such a minuscule thing as what we do with our hair.

i don’t begrudge anyone their own hair preference, and neither should you.

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