Leader of the Anti-Anti-Hipster/Leggings Movement

DEATH TO CRANKY, OLD PEOPLE

Dictionary.com defines a hipster as “a person, especially during the 1950s, characterized by a particularly strong sense of alienation from most established social activities and relationships.”

Urban Dictionary defines a hipster as “A coffee drinking, novel reading, wayfarer wearing, oxford obsessing girl/guy who often will pretend to know everything about anything in pop culture spanning from the 1920’s to now. Subsequently, they will pretend also not to like everything and anything in pop culture from the 1920’s to now. May be seen wearing over sized or undersized, (but never the right sized)t shirt, which will undoubtedly be advertising some sort of movie that know one knows of and or band that know one knows of/likes. Most of them will say they ‘get’ where the wild things are and shun you for not thinking Spike Jonze is God. If you do not watch the Oscars they hate you. If you do watch the oscars they hate you. Pretty much: Every single one of the extras from Cleo from 5-7.”

Wikipedia defines hipsters (or scenesters) as “a subculture of young, recently settled urban middle class adults and older teenagers withmusical interestes mainly in alternative rock that appeared in the 1990s. Other interests in media would include independent film, magazines such as Vice and Clash, and websites like Pitchfork Media.”

I’m not sure about my definition of a hipster, but all three of the definitions I just listed are most definitely true…to an extent.

Hipsters are all the rage in 2011. What was nerdy, dorky and geeky in 1991 is hip and cool in 2011. Hipsters post up at some of the weirdest places and rock some of the most blase faces you’ll ever see in your entire life. They’re young and usually not very vibrant, I suppose. Too cool for school is how I’d describe most of them. And most people who aren’t hipsters (mostly men, I’ve found) absolutely and unabashedly loathe and despise everything about them.

Leggings are fitted clothing that cover the legs and can be worn by both men and women, although mostly women wear them, mainly to be fashionable. Some women wear them when working out, most wear them when out and about. Tee shirts and leggings. Sweaters and leggings. Flannels and leggings. Skirts over leggings. Those are just a few of the combinations women have “blessed” us with. Since around 2005, there have been some women who have totally done away with jeans and pants in favor of leggings, and this has drawn the ire of more than a few people–mostly women–who are absolutely appalled that any woman would do such an atrocious thing in the name of fashion.

As I’ve written, there are people who find hipsters and women who wear leggings to be particularly annoying. I find those same anti-hipster and anti-leggings quasi-activists particularly annoying.

First, I am not a hipster. I’m not fond of labels, but I realize that they exist, and I’m sure some have been applied to me in my lifetime. Women who wear leggings 24/7/365 are not my glass of root beer, and the women who do are up there with women who wear flip-flops everywhere at the top of my own personal “Most Annoying” list. However, I am all for people expressing themselves however they want to, long as they’re not hurting anyone or spreading any kind of negativity.

The gripe with hipsters is somewhat understandable. Yes, some of them try way too hard to give off the impression that they don’t have a single care in the world. Some clearly spend too much time in the mirror, attempting to perfect their look. Being snarky and pretentious is the name of the game for the most assholish of hipsters, and what makes that behavior more infuriating is when it is accompanied by complete and utter nonchalance. These aren’t real hipsters. They’re the faux hipsters; the hipsters who have jumped on the bandwagon after being kicked off of or losing interest in a previous one. They irk my soul and seem to take pleasure in doing so, because they make a concerted effort in looking and acting so damn “bummily douchey”.

Still, this applies to only some hipsters. As with every other social group, there are a few phony and bad apples that ruin the reputation for the whole. As a young Black male, I cringe with every story I hear about Black males shooting, stabbing and robbing each other. This is not me. It never has been, and never will be. Yet, I know that there are a good number of people, regardless of race, who will assume that I condone or engage in those types of acts just because of the color of my skin. These opinions stems from ignorance and a reluctance to be open-minded. That’s it, that’s all. The same goes for anti-hipsters.

Honestly, I think many anti-hipsters are jealous. I think they’re envious as hell at the fact that “these people” who sometimes dress and act like bums are somehow, cool. The thing about real hipsters is, they genuinely don’t care what others think of them. They’re in their own little world, doing what makes them feel comfortable and most importantly, what makes them happy. If that means jamming to indie music in the middle of the park while smoking joints on a warm summer day, so be it. Yes, despite their claims that they are so different, they’re mostly conformists. Notwithstanding, the same can be said for a number of social groups. Almost no one wants to admit they’re following the crowd, when in essence, they most certainly are. It is virtually impossible to be genuinely unique, yet there are people who on a daily basis proclaim this in the most confident fashion.

I’d go as far as to say that anti-hipsters are intimidated by hipsters. When I was in high school, I constantly made fun of the goth kids. As I got older, though, I realized that I wanted to be like them. No, not dressed in all black, wearing eyeliner, finger nail polish and spreading my “emoness” throughout the world, but just having the freedom to do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, and how I wanted to do it. Those goth kids intimidated me because I knew I was basically living a lie; the expensive clothes and shoes weren’t really my thing, but something that I kept up with because I wanted to maintain my social status among the student body. I felt I had a reputation to uphold, and by even accepting the goth kids, I would fall off the social map.

The amount of hatred for women in leggings is equally asinine, and honestly, rather pathetic. I’ll say this: I love women in leggings. Correction: I love shapely women in leggings. I’m not adverse to a nice ass, hips, thighs, and legs. At all. So seeing women who possess those physical traits in something skintight is alright with yours truly. Yes, I’m baffled by women who wear leggings everywhere, but I’m also baffled by the women who wear flip-flops and heels everywhere. What about the women who wear horrible wigs everywhere? Or the women who stuff themselves into dresses? Are not the women who go out wearing next to nothing just as ridiculous-looking as the women who have a thing for leggings, if women in leggings really look ridiculous at all?

I follow some women on Twitter who have openly expressed their disdain for women who wear leggings, period. I’ve noticed that a few of them are…well…unattractive. It’s not just their faces, either. They don’t really have (or appear to have) body types that would be conducive to wearing leggings. Again, I smell jealousy. Many of us know that too many women, no matter what age, can be rather catty. Have you ever been at a wedding and overheard women bashing the bride? “She looks fat” “Her dress looks sooo cheap” “What’s wrong with her makeup?” Those are some of the things that I heard at my cousin’s wedding. From his wife’s bridesmaids. Those catty shrews on Twitter can say whatever they want. More than likely, they don’t like the attention that so many women in leggings get from the opposite sex. If you didn’t know this, most men are “visual creatures”. We’re excited by what we see, and we’re not looking out for the plain-looking chick in a pair of mom jeans with crummy Reeboks on. We want hot, and women with nice lower halves in leggings certainly epitomizes that.

I wouldn’t say I’m pro-hipster or pro-leggings, although I definitely don’t have a problem with either. I couldn’t care less what people wear or do as long as they’re not hurting anyone else. So all of the unbelievably LAME insults I read and hear on a constant basis sadden me, mainly because it symbolizes nothing more than alleged adults reverting to their high school days, when it was cool to make fun of something that you didn’t understand or weren’t a part of. It’s no fun to feel left out, and these men and women who make it a priority to disparage hipsters and women in leggings clearly have some insecurities that they obviously haven’t dealt with. The guys who realize they’re not cool and the women who aren’t ready to acknowledge that they’re just not traffic-stoppers will do what they can to make hipsters and leggings-wearers feel bad about themselves. This is just all types of pitiful, and could be construed as bullying. It’s weak when schoolchildren bully, and it’s much, much, much weaker when supposedly grown men and women resort to the same bullshit.

To the real hipsters and women who tastefully wear leggings, I’m with you. I’ll go to bat for you. I was raised by Karen to accept all people, long as they’re not hurting anyone or advocating the hurting of anyone else. Granted, some of you hipsters could clean it up a bit and some of you women in leggings could throw a damn pair of nice-fitting jeans or pants on every once in a while, but overall, you’re good with me. Your detractors are mostly petty, and will eventually tire themselves out. They’ll move on to something or someone else they don’t quite get, or something or a group that they’re not really welcomed in. In other words, they’ll continue to be the miserable fucks they are today. Stay genuine and unswayed by these losers, I beg of you. You take way too much shit for simply expressing yourselves in a generally innocent way. The world needs more people like you, you hip and Bohemian, curvy and sexy bastards.

P.S. I miss Karen and the Moondance Woman!!!

P.P.S. If Dwight Howard isn’t in a Bulls uniform by Christmas, I will go to the local preschool and riot.


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