i didn’t make you live this damn long

this morning, I encountered one of those old people on the bus… you know, the ones who feel as though they’re entitled to everyfuckingthing (typically in terms of respect) from young people just because they have lived on the earth as long as moses. well. I’ve come to say one thing to them, fuck you.

I am well aware that I am being disrespectful, but I am doing it for a reason. I do NOT see the need to respect someone who is rude to me. I am not going to treat a 5-y/o with respect if they don’t show it to me, so why would I show it to someone older just because they are older?

when someone shows respect for me, I will do the same for them.

I didn’t give them a hard ass life, I didn’t make them stay on the earth since dinosaurs were born. you have a problem with how long you’ve lived, or how hard life has been, don’t take that shit out on me, as one of the people I follow (@amberalert123) likes to say, #takeitupwithchrist.

old people have done that shit for far too long. how many of us have visited an old aunt/cousin/family friend who has felt the need to ask/tell us, “you’re getting fat,” or “why are you dressed like a floozy,” or, “when are you going to get married,” whatever the fuck other intrusive ass, unnecessary ass potentially offensive shit? well I don’t see the need to just accept it and laugh it off. if the shit is rude, I will let an old motherfucker know. and that goes for any person.

now, this is not to say that I don’t recognize that some old people are sweet, loving, and cute. those get my respect, not only for their age, but because they are nice.

get your grandmothers, people, cuz I’m not gonna kiss the ass of some old person because they demand I do so. rude bastards.

Tit for tat? Really?

I don’t like man-bashers and woman-bashers. Nor am I fond of people that set out to have sex with as many people as possible. I choose not to associate myself with people who perpetuate negative stereotypes and those that use racial epithets. People that prefer to “dumb it down” won’t get a piece of me, either.

What annoys me more than the people who possess those characteristics are the ones that feel it’s acceptable because others do. You know, the “Well, I only do it because they do it” people. For example, women who bash men because men bash women. Or Blacks that make racist comments about Whites because they feel “Whites did it first”. Anyone who excuses their immature, ignorant behavior because someone else does it seriously annoys me. It’s tit for tat behavior. It’s sophomoric.

If you like to sleep around, act in a childish and irresponsible manner, or make racist jokes, I can’t stop you, obviously. I have more respect for someone who genuinely acts that way, though. I’d rather know exactly where you stand and why than be exposed to a side of you that exists only because others act the same. My biggest issue with the tit for tat craze is that people who would normally be sensible resort to juvenile tactics in order to even the score, which only makes situations worse. These people have no clue how ridiculous they look and sound.

I’ll give just two of many examples of this wackness.

Many women have chosen to not only establish themselves in the workforce and on the playing field, but to also own their sexuality now. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, in my opinion. For years the legal system and society has, in its own way, placed limits on how women could express themselves. It was almost as if a woman weren’t seen as a dainty, submissive, aspiring housewife, then she wasn’t woman enough. Many men scoffed (and some lame, insecure ones still do) at the idea of a strong, independent woman. However, there is a difference between owning your sexuality and exhibiting whorish behavior. Engaging in sexual relations with as many partners as possible does not speak well for your character, whether you’re a man or woman, gay or straight. I’ve heard some women say that women shouldn’t be criticized for this because men have done it for years. Who said that we were right to do it? It’s appalling that there are men that view women as nothing more than potential sexual conquests. Yet I refuse to give a woman who sleeps around a pass just because a number of adult men act like teenage horndogs.

The Don Imus situation was definitely a scandalous one. He obviously could’ve used a better choice of words to tell his listeners what he thought of the Rutgers and Tennesse women’s basketball teams’ looks. Still, it caused me to think of how many Black men and women I’ve heard use the same words to describe Black women. As Imus stated, you can hear some of the same words in rap lyrics. In addition, Spike Lee’s “School Daze” devoted a musical number to “Jigaboos vs Wannabes”, where dark-skinned and light-skinned women squared off in a hair salon. Since when have we been the sole owners of the right to belittle and demean our own people by speaking and expressing ourselves in a way that would make most of our parents and grandparents vomit? Is it really okay for a Black comic to use “honky”or “cracker”, or stereotype Whites, Latinos, and Asians, but when the tables are turned, there’s an uproar in the Black community? If we find it so offensive to be ridiculed, then why do so many of us do the same to other races? Yes, we’ve been discriminated against and made fun of for years. But we’re no better when we do the same, and it doesn’t help matters to feel as if we need to get some sort of vengeance now. Pathetic is the word I use to describe  those Blacks that feel it’s alright to lose all common sense simply because they feel it’s our time to look down on others of a different ethnicity or cultural background.

Tit for tat didn’t work when we were children, so I’m not sure why so many think it’s plausible to suggest that it would, or should be accepted now. You might feel that you’re accomplishing something by insulting others, whoring yourself out, or carrying on like a fool, but I assure you that you’re not. People that exercise sensibility look at you and listen to you, and shake their heads in bewilderment. So many people my age don’t offer reasoning for their behavior, only excuses, and I’m starting to realize that it’s slowing our development as a people, nation, and generation. If you feel as if you’ve been forced to respond in a way that you don’t want to, or normally wouldn’t, chances are it’s wrong. Knock it off. NOW.

P.S. I miss Karen!!!

P.P.S. Nah, miss. Keep the sneakers on…

So baseball and hockey players aren’t thugs?

This doesn't look like a friendly gathering to me...

I was engaged in a conversation with an older, white gentleman this morning on the topic of character in sports. The gentleman, who I shall refer to as “Steve”, opined that all across the board, athletes seem to act as if they don’t have a moral compass. It was basically a slight to my generation, which I ignored because of a later comment. “I watch baseball and hockey much more now because those leagues don’t seem to embrace thugs the way basketball and football do.” This is the one that caught me by surprise.

My immediate response was, ‘So baseball and hockey players aren’t thugs?’ He had a puzzled look on his face, and answered, “If you’re talking about beanball wars and hockey fights, that’s a part of their cultures.” Every once in a while, someone will offer reasoning, which sounds like nothing more than excuses. This was one of those occasions.

I cannot lie; Steve was right, to an extent. Retaliation and brawling have been a part of baseball for decades, and a good number of people inside and outside the sport of hockey feel that fighting is almost necessary. A star hitter that gets hit in the back with a 95 mph fastball is not a surprise, especially if he’s had a good day at the plate. Hockey teams, in every league, sign players just because of their physical presence, and ability to drop the gloves at any given time during a game. Some hockey players fight to fire up their teams, or to “avenge” a fallen player. They are usually given the title of “enforcer”, or “goon”.

My next question left Steve with more of a “stuck” look on his face. ‘Do you think that you feel this way because basketball and football are predominantly Black and more hip sports?’ “No” was his reply.

I am a 24 year-old, Black male, born and raised on the South Side of Chicago. Baseball is and has always been my favorite sport, and I would rather watch a 1-0 pitcher’s duel than a 120-118 NBA game any day of the week. Yet, I think that basketball and football have gotten a bad rep, because of a few “thuggish” characters. Ron Artest and his role in the “Malice at the Palace”, and Adam “Pac-Man” Jones are just two of many examples of professional basketball and football players that don’t seem to want to dispel the notion that the NBA and NFL are heavily populated by mostly overpaid gangbangers playing a sport.

Let’s be real. Baseball and hockey are two tedious sports. For the most part, its participants are mostly White. Even though there are a good number of European (which is obviously different from Caucasian) hockey players in the NHL, they still fall under the category of White players in our eyes. Even with the increase of Latino players in MLB, the majority of fans, front-office employees, coaches and managers are White. While Alexander Ovechkin may be the most exciting athlete in all of professional sports, he doesn’t exactly scream “cool”, especially in the minds of many casual hockey fans. He got a shoutout in a Wale verse, but I’m guessing that happened because Wale is from D.C. Baseball hasn’t really changed its marketing scheme over the last several years. You could say that the MLB: The Show series is popular with kids and young adults, but its success will most likely never reach the levels of the Madden and NBA 2K series. Hockey has many prestigious awards, like the Art Ross Trophy (MVP) and Lady Byng Trophy (sportsmanship), and baseball, despite falling behind football and basketball in the US in terms of viewership, is still viewed as America’s “National Pasttime”.

Granted, basketball and football have great histories and have had great players and coaches, but the overall view of the two sports now is that they run rampant with young, obnoxious, aggressive, wannabe gangster rappers. Even Ben Roethlisberger is not the stereotypical star White quarterback, and not because of his past transgressions. Basketball purists often voice their disgust with the lack of fundamentals practiced in the game now, and are even more frustrated that so many players are deciding that they don’t need to better themselves by staying in college for more than one year. Never mind the fact that at 18, they should be allowed to pursue whatever legal profession they choose. It’s seen as disrespectful to the professional game, and to nationwide institutions of higher learning. I just don’t believe that fans and analysts would have the same view of the two sports if most of its players, especially stars, were White.

Good ol' hockey "tradition"!!!

Yes, there are plenty of scraps (95% of them minor) during the course of a basketball and football game. A basketball player might take exception to a hard foul, or a defensive lineman might respond with a punch to the helmet of an offensive lineman or blocker that cut him. Why are those seen as primitive acts? Why is rap music even mentioned as a potential reason for the aggressiveness in these sports? Yes, there are more than a few White rap fans, but when one thinks of the culture behind the music, most would think of young Black males.

When Ozzie Guillen openly acknowledged that he instructed one of his pitchers to hit an opposing player with a pitch, the media didn’t really do much to call him out for it. Actually, he was called out for admitting that he did so, and not for endorsing that type of behavior from one of his players. The pitcher was even demoted for failing to do so! Suppose instead of getting hit in the leg or upper body, the opposing player were hit in the head? Would that have been seen as one of the unwritten rules of baseball? In the world of organized crime, wouldn’t what Ozzie ordered his pitcher to do be considered a hit? More times than not, hockey players actually agree to fight before a game, or faceoff. I’ve seen a clip on YouTube ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIf9tJATX9k ) where George Laraques literally asked Raitis Ivanans, before a faceoff, if he wanted to fight. After Ivanans agreed, he wished him luck. I suppose some hockey fans would say that’s an example of the sport’s classiness, but what if one of them were to hit their head on the ice? What if one punch were to end one of their careers prematurely? The fight came at a critical point during the game, but was it really necessary? Do hockey fans ever feel frustrated that there’s basically one guy on every team that is getting paid to not only fight, but to sometimes instigate fights? As I stated earlier, these players are called enforcers and goons. Don’t those titles usually belong to…gangsters and thugs? If you complain about a power forward or running back being overpaid, you should do the same for enforcers and goons. Call out baseball managers like Tony LaRussa, who have a reputation for ordering retaliation when he feels one of his players has been purposely thrown at or hit. Most pitchers have good control, but none of them are perfect. Ask anyone who’s played baseball past the age of 13 if they’ve ever been spiked, or anyone who’s played past Pee Wee hockey if they’ve ever been cross-checked or boarded. Most times, this is not just something that comes along with the territory of playing the sport. It’s intentional.

There are thuggish characters in a lot of sports. However, I find it alarming that so many choose to identify basketball and football players with such characteristics. I’ll admit, there’s more showboating in the two, while baseball and hockey are more reserved. Chad Ochocinco (wide receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals) has made a name for himself with his antics. Chris Andersen (power forward for the Denver Nuggets) is covered with tattoos and seems to revel in the fact that he is despised on the court. But there’s also Steve Avery, Matt Cooke, Ovechkin (to an extent), Vicente Padilla, Pedro Martinez (again, to an extent), and a plethora of baseball managers that are responsible for the foolishness that occurs in hockey and baseball at times. So I ask you again Steve. Baseball and hockey players aren’t thugs?

P.S. I miss Karen!!!

P.P.S. My McGriddle tastes awfully…kushy

Dear Tim Tebow fans…

A Tebow fan's view of a Florida football game...

Jarvis Moss, Reggie Nelson, Percy Harvin, DeShawn Wynn, Brandon Spikes, Derrick Harvey, Joe Haden, Riley Cooper, Andre Caldwell, Jeffrey Demps, Aaron Hernandez, Major Wright, David Nelson, Michael Pouncey, and Phil Troutwein. Do you know who they are? They were Tim Tebow’s teammates at the University of Florida from 2007-09, when Tebow established himself as “the greatest college football player ever”. Defensive linemen, linebackers, cornerbacks, safeties, running backs, wide receivers, tight ends and offensive linemen. 5-star recruits, All-Americans, All-SEC, NFL Draft picks, and even an NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year is in the bunch. I mention them to let you Tebow fans know that he did not single-handedly win football games, conference championships, and national championships.

I am not a “Tebow-hater”. I believe he was a great college football player. His games were usually a joy to watch, because of the enthusiasm and effort he played with. Couple that with the fact that I’ve loved UF football since the Steve Spurrier days, and it’s easy to see why I didn’t mind seeing him succeed on the collegiate level, even though I’m a huge Michigan and Michigan St. football fan.

HOWEVER, all of the Tebow love is seriously starting to annoy me. What makes it worse is that most of it doesn’t even make sense.

I’ve heard many say that Tebow won 2 national titles. True, he was part of 2 national title teams, but he was Chris Leak’s backup in 2006. He definitely was a piece of the puzzle, but nowhere near a large piece. Someone once argued with me that Florida wouldn’t have won the 2006 title game without him. Word? Florida beat Ohio State (how I loathe the Buckeyes), 41-14. Tebow ran and threw for a touchdown. That touchdown pass? A one-yarder before the end of the second half to put Florida ahead, 34-14. Clutch.

Have you Tebow fans ever heard of Alex Smith? He was just as much a beneficiary of an offensive scheme designed to take advantage of his strengths as Tebow was while playing for Urban Meyer, who transformed Smith from a good WAC quarterback into the #1 NFL Draft pick in the 2005 draft. The shotgun, spread-option offense made Smith look like a world-beater, and it’s done the same for Tebow. While Smith did not play in arguably the best football conference in the country, or even a very good one, he was seen as a more prototypical quarterback coming out of college than Tebow. How has he done in the NFL, you ask? Next question.

Please, don’t bring up “The Speech”. What irks me about it is that it’s given Tebow fans one more reason to bring up how great of a leader he is. Excuse me, but I’m 99.9% sure that Tebow is not the first college football player (or college athlete, period) to deliver an emotional, fiery speech to his team and its fans after a disappointing loss to an inferior opponent. I don’t really have a problem with the speech. As a matter of fact, I actually thought it was great. I became irritated when ESPN and damn near every other sports and news outlet hyped the speech up to be on the level of the Ten Commandments. The speech has even been engraved on a plaque and sits outside of the Florida Field football facility. Wow.

"The Speech"

We get it. Tebow is a great guy. He’s got intangibles. He was a Christian missionary in the Philippines. Despite being home-schooled, he appears to be perfectly normal. He’s an uber-respectful, God-fearing virgin. There is a bill pending in the Alabama Legislature, called “The Tim Tebow Bill”, which would allow home-schooled students in the state of Alabama to play sports for their local high school. But…um…that does not equate to success on a football field, nor does it equate to having a productive professional football career. A speech does not win Super Bowl rings, playoff games, division games, or even mean that he’ll have good quarters. It seems like everytime anyone offers criticism of Tebow, it’s met with “You’re a Tebow hater!” People who can’t accept that Tebow isn’t perfect obviously don’t know much about football, and are most likely current students or alumni of UF. Granted, some of the criticism is unnecessary and a little harsh, but like every other athlete in the public eye, he’ll be praised as well as “dissed”. Stop being sensitive.

I made a point on Twitter yesterday about Myron Rolle and NFL teams shying away from him because they aren’t sure whether or not he’s focused on playing football. Rolle is a safety and graduate of Florida State University. He earned a Bachelor’s in Exercise Science in 2.5 years and earned a Rhodes Scholarship for his success in the classroom. Rolle chose to forgo his final season at FSU to study at Oxford, to earn an M.A in medical anthropology. Instead of attempting to help his draft stock, he took one step closer to becoming a physician and neurosurgeon and doing what he could to dispel the notion that Black athletes from the inner-city are only after the money. He has dreams of going to poverty-stricken countries and utilizing his degree to provide health care to their citizens. He’s acknowledged that he’s heard he will be a 5th or 6th round pick, which usually doesn’t guarantee a guy a spot on an NFL roster. Even though he’s extremely talented on the field, and has shown it during his career at FSU, some NFL front offices aren’t sure whether professional football would be his top priority.

Myron Rolle, safety and Rhodes Scholar

While Tebow gets praised and is glorified for ending every speech/presser/comment with “God bless”, his intangibles, and missionary work, Rolle has gone without nearly one-quarter of the same fanfare for over a year. Tebow fans cry out how selfless he is. How else could you describe potentially sacrificing millions of dollars to study abroad, with the hopes of helping impoverished people? Rolle didn’t play football for a “mid-major”. He played for FSU, and the great head coach Bobby Bowden and defensive coordinator, Mickey Andrews. And yet, his accomplishments have been lost among the latest stupid, heinous act committed by Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger, Mel Kiper’s hair, and of course, Tim Tebow, and all that is great about him.

Tebow fans, practice logic. Understand that everyone in the limelight will be criticized at one point or another, whether it’s warranted or not. Even Michael Jordan received his fair share of criticism throughout his playing career, and even after. Go ahead and jump on the Denver Broncos bandwagon and cheer for every 3-yard run and jump pass thrown by Tebow. If he has a successful career, it will be mostly because of his talent. If he fails, it will be mostly because of his talent. Please, please, please…understand that just because you hear/read someone express that they are not a Tebow fan, does not mean they are a “Tebow-hater”…

P.S. I miss Karen!!!

P.P.S. Go Bulls! Go Blackhawks!

I’m a “different” type of Cubs fan…

As I mentioned in my last post, I am 24 years old, and from the South Side of Chicago. I’m a diehard Cubs fan. Around 20-30 times a year, I can be found in Aisle 425 at Wrigley Field. Cubs cap, shirt or hoody, no peanuts, no beer, totally into the game. I stand for the national anthem and the 7th inning stretch. I scream my lungs out when a good play is made, and I boo when I see a travesty or injustice on the field. I want what every other Cubs fan wants, 162 games a year: WINS.

Yet, I consider myself to be a “different” type of Cubs fan. I don’t bring up 1908, the 101-year title drought, 1945, the billy goat, black cat, Evers-Tinkers-Chance, the collapse in the 1984 NLCS, 1989, 1998, 2003 (that often), 2007, 2008, or Milton “Scapegoat” Bradley (at least to throw insults at him). Yes, I consider myself to be a rabid Cubs fan, but I know when to turn it off. I don’t want to be the type of fan that is 80 years old, and feels his life isn’t complete because the Cubs haven’t won a World Series. Words couldn’t describe my feelings if the Cubs were to win the World Series, although I’m sure I’d cry tears of joy. Still, it is not a top priority to see the Cubs win a World Series before I die.

I guess the Milton Bradley Experiment made me realize just how different I am. It seems that many Cubs experts, er, fans, were not aware of the type of player that Milton Bradley is. Injury-prone, volatile, and unwilling to accept responsibility for his actions in most cases. A good, but not great hitter, who’s never been known for his fielding or athletic ability, and not a “clubhouse guy”. He had a very good, but not great 2008, and that was mostly because he hit in a lineup with other powerful hitters, in a hitters park (Arlington), and was the team’s primary DH, which obviously put less strain on his body. Bradley became the 2009 whipping boy for Cubs fans. Never mind the fact that the moron formerly known as Jim Hendry decided to give him a 3 year, $30 million contract despite the fact that he’d never played more than 2 full seasons with a team in his entire career. Or that there were cheaper, more reliable alternatives, such as Bobby Abreu and Raul Ibanez. Or that Soriano, Soto, Gregg, Miles, Fukudome, Heilman, and Fontenot had terrible seasons. Cubs fans had found their bitch. Because of this, I now find myself cheering for Bradley, even though he’s playing in Seattle. Bradley eventually played the race card, and most dismissed both notions that he’d faced racism, and that fans at Wrigley are racist, period. What infuriated me most were the Cubs fans that used the excuse: “We’re not racist, we love Derrek Lee!” That’s the equivalent of a white person denying that they’re racist, and bringing up their one black friend in order to refute that claim. To that, I say “oy vey”.

The departures of Kerry Wood and Mark Derosa also made me realize I’m not like the average Cubs fan. I didn’t come close to shedding a tear upon hearing of their departures. I’m sorry, but I didn’t lose sleep when I learned that Kerry Wood wouldn’t be re-signed. His career highlight came in his rookie season, when he struck out 20 in a game against Houston. I was at that game, and thought I was looking at the next Roger Clemens. Unfortunately, his career was marred by injuries and trips to the disabled list, and when he was healthy, he didn’t even win 15 games. While Mark Derosa was a highly productive player, I couldn’t grasp how so many Cubs fans (a good number of them, females) reacted as if the Cubs had just traded an All-Star. I also learned that a good number of Cubs fans seem to react without thinking, feeling as if Mark Derosa was traded for Milton Bradley. This is what I like to call “the lazy truth”. Yes, Derosa’s salary needed to be moved in order for the team to sign Milton Bradley. However, if Lou Piniella hadn’t flipped out after being swept in the 2008 NLDS by the Dodgers, whining to everyone within earshot about a need for more lefties in the lineup, Milton Bradley wouldn’t have spent one inning in a Cubs uni in 2009. In addition, Mark Derosa was the Cubs primary second baseman. If Piniella didn’t endorse Mike Fontenot as a worthy candidate to play second on a daily basis, Derosa wouldn’t have gone anywhere. Add the ownership issues before the 2009 season, and the Cubs front office just wasn’t sure if the new owner would be in favor of adding, without subtracting salaries.

I’ll say it. I’m not a fan of the “Bleacher Bums”. I wouldn’t go as far as saying I find them vile, disgusting, assholish, or “a bunch of immature fucking drunks who are more interested in beer than baseball” (my little brother’s description of them), but I believe they give Cubs fans a bad reputation. The men are sometimes shirtless, the women are sometimes damn near shirtless, a good number of them are belligerently drunk, and at times, it looks more like a frat party than a section in the stands where fans would be watching a baseball game. Ron Santo? Meh. Most Cubs fans love him, and some find him annoying. I tend to identify myself with the latter, especially when listening to him on the radio. Despite his Harry Caray impersonation, I’m not high on Ryan Dempster or his contract. A Dusty Baker basher? I am not. Why would I trash a man that managed the Cubs within a few outs of the World Series? Could he have gone out and talked to Mark Prior after Bartman lunged for a souvenir? Yes. Was it necessary? No. The Cubs could’ve closed it out the 2003 NLCS in game 5 (good ol’ Zambrano was the starter) and had a chance in game 7 (Cubs cult hero Wood was the starter), but they didn’t. Allow me to remind you of the tailor-made double play ball hit to sure-handed Alex Gonzalez that could’ve gotten the Cubs out of that dreadful inning in game 6 as well. 2004 wasn’t his fault, either, as the Cubs choked down the stretch. Go ahead, be an idiot and blame Baker for Wood and Prior’s injury problems. Wood had a serious elbow injury early in his career (while Baker was managing the Giants), and a good number of people felt it was only a matter of time before Prior and his “perfect mechanics” would break down. I was a huge fan of Sammy Sosa, and still am. It’s funny how most Cubs fans ignored his selfishness and lack of basic fundamentals when he was carrying the team. Once that stopped, Cubs fans couldn’t wait to see him go. I’m young, and am not interested in getting a history lesson every single day. I’m not gullible, nor am I overly pessimistic. I am a Cubs fan, but I was a baseball fan first, and I’ll always be that way. I’m not all that interested in the mystique of Wrigley Field. I don’t care for the guest 7th inning stretch singers. I absolutely despise the  “Lovable Losers” tag with a fiery passion. I like to make fun of fellow Cubs fans. I’m well-aware that there’s a little bit of an uppitiness about Cubs fans, also.

My love for the Cubs never has, and never will waver. If anyone wants to question my knowledge of baseball, try me. Chances are, I’m more knowledgeable than you are. I’m always open to logical, realistic conversation about anything pertaining to baseball. Disclaimer: I out morons like TMZ outs cheating spouses and drug addicts, and to be honest, I take joy in it. There are most certainly Cubs fans who annoy me on a daily basis, but I have love for all of them…especially the different ones.

P.S. I miss Karen!!!

P.P.S. Who loves ya, baby?!

I DO NOT hate the White Sox…

I was born in Harvey, Illinois. I was raised on the South Side of Chicago, 86th and Champlain and 70th St (near Stony Island) to be exact. I am Black. I love the South Side of Chicago with a fiery passion. I graduated from Kenwood Academy, and frequented the campuses of Morgan Park, Simeon, Dunbar, Prep, Hyde Park and other schools on the South Side to get my social fix. Even when it shows me its worst, I still proclaim the South Side to be the best part of the best city on the face of the Earth. I don’t hesitate to let people know where I’m from, and I couldn’t care less when I hear disparaging remarks or praised heaped upon the South Side.

However, I am a DIE-HARD Chicago Cubs fan. I attended my first Cubs game at Wrigley when I was five (1990), and have been to almost 200 games at The Friendly Confines since. I was a fan during the days of Dunston, Sandberg, Dawson, Grace, Guzman, Harkey, and Morgan. And one during Sosa, Blauser, Wood, Prior, Beck, and Grudzielanek. I’m probably an even bigger fan now, during the *gulp* Soriano, DLee, Lilly, ARam, Soto, Zambrano and Marmol Era. 1998 gave me reason for optimism, but I knew the Cubs were overmatched against a far superior Braves team. 2003 broke my heart, because I knew the Cubs were going to win it all once they defeated the Braves in the NLDS. Unfortunately, South Beach fish ruined the party. 2007 and 2008  gave many Cubs fans reason to be excited, only for the Cubs to dash all hopes and dreams with subpar (understatement) performances in the NLDS in both years.

Let me clear something up with you Pale Hose fans. I DO NOT hate the White Sox. To be honest, I was a White Sox fan up until after the 1993 season. The White Sox had been eliminated by the eventual champion Toronto Blue Jays in the ALCS, and suddenly, I just wasn’t as big a fan anymore. Still, Frank Thomas was my favorite player (I even wore his signature spikes), and I enjoyed watching Jack McDowell, Joey Cora, Carlton Fisk, Ron Karkovice, Bo Jackson, Wilson Alvarez, Roberto Hernandez, and Robin Ventura play, too. The way I saw it, I had two baseball teams in Chicago to cheer for. The only difference I saw was that one played in the American League while the other played in the National League, and one wore black and white while the other wore blue and white.

I wasn’t quite old enough to completely understand the differences between the North Side and South Side. I had an uncle that lived on Sheffield (and still does), three blocks away from Wrigley, and I can say I noticed that there were more Whites than Blacks on the North Side, similar to there being more Blacks than Whites in the area on the South Side that I lived. Other than that, I didn’t know about “blue collar vs white collar”, or “rich vs poor”, or “middle-class vs elitists”, or any of the other bullshit that some moronic Cubs and Pale Hose fans buy into.

Again, I DO NOT HATE THE WHITE SOX. They barely register as a blip on my baseball radar, to be perfectly honest. I’m not one of these Cubs fans that sits around all day, thinking of insults to make about them and their fans. I’m more worried about the Cubs’ problems than the Pale Hose. Obviously, Pale Hose manager Ozzie Guillen is a moron, but everyone not named Ozzie Guillen knows that.

What irks me about the organization and its fans are the way they’ve acted since the 2005 World Series. You’re NOT a dynasty. I don’t care what your cocky general manager and manager feed you. Fuck Pierzynski and “Big Bad” Bobby Jenks. I couldn’t care less about your hick homer for an announcer, either. One title does not a dynasty make. Yes, I know it’s one more than the Cubs have won over the last century, but that’s not the point. To celebrate is one thing. But to only celebrate when rubbing it in the face of a Cubs fan is just wack. Pure, unadulterated, wackness. This would be different if Pale Hose fans were Yankees fans, and Cubs fans were Mets fans. If the Pale Hose had 27 titles under their belt, Cubs fans couldn’t say a thing. That’s not the case here. The Pale Hose broke a title drought of 88 years, so it’s not like the Hose had a great history of winning.

It’s clear: White Sox fans in Chicago barely care about the White Sox, unless they’ve just won a World Series. How else can one explain the fact that US Cellular is rarely sold out? The White Sox know they’ll sell out twice during the regular season. Opening Day, and the Cubs/White Sox “Red Line Rivalry”. That’s it. A park with much better amenities, food, more aesthetically pleasing to the eye–is usually in the middle of the pack when it comes to home attendance. There’s enough parking, and it’s not hell on Earth for train riders after a game. Chicago is the third-largest media market in the country, and 40,000 fans can’t show up 81 times a year? I don’t want to hear that White Sox fans are too busy working. Shut that shit up, please. Cubs fans work, too. Granted, we might play hooky in order to catch a 2:30 game every once in a while, but we’re not all unemployed deadbeats. Also, I’m not sure how some Pale Hose fans can label Cubs fans as rich snobs, and then turn around and call them lazy, unemployed drunks. Pick one. Stick one. Thank you.

It’s sad that a good number of White Sox fans have an inferiority complex. To assume that all Cubs fans are rich yuppies that want nothing more than to get drunk and watch a team lose is idiotic and very ignorant. It’s hard to understand where Sox fans come up with the theory that Cubs fans think they’re any better than them. Most likely, it feeds into their belief that the Cubs and their fans hate everything about not only the Sox, but the South Side, in general.

The White Sox would absolutely love it if someone actually hated them. It would give them a true rival, which would create more publicity, putting more people in the seats. The Cubs and White Sox are not rivals. I repeat, they are not rivals. So if there are any Cubs fans that hate the White Sox, or vice versa, they’re morons. The Cubs main rivals are the St. Louis Cardinals and Milwaukee Brewers, in case you were wondering.

Sometimes I think Ozzie talks so much shit about others because he actually wants to be loathed, disliked, despised, and hated. His act is contrived. The White Sox don’t win enough to be disliked on the level of the Yankees, or Duke, and don’t have a 25-man roster full of douches, so Guillen and AJ pick up the slack, which is fine. When a franchise decides that those two will be the unofficial lead singers for their band however, don’t be surprised when people line up to shoot darts at your team. I do the same at times, but that’s only because I know more about them than the Cardinals and Brewers, and because they make it easy.

In conclusion, I, along with most Cubs fans, do not hate the White Sox. It would be almost pointless for any of us to feel that way, the same as it would be pointless for White Sox fans to hate the Cubs. Be honest. We all know which baseball team runs this town. Ozzie and Ken Williams know it, and have said it. The players and the media know it, too. The quicker White Sox fans stop worrying about what the Cubs are doing, and focus on Ozzieball (Honestly, why would a team with sluggers that plays 81 games a year in a homer-friendly park play smallball?!?!), the better for all of us. I acknowledge that there are some idiot Cubs fans that worry too much about the White Sox, but the purpose of this post wasn’t to address them. Trust me, the Cubs have their share of problems in many areas, and the last thing that’s on my mind is a team that plays in a different league, who we’ll face only 6 times a year. Grow up, people…

P.S. I miss Karen!!!

P.P.S. President Obama may be the White Sox most popular fan, but that doesn’t take away from the face that he throws like a girl(no offense, Karen).

Celebrities and their stans, oy vey…

I’m pretty sure that most of you have seen, if not heard of Erykah Badu’s latest video, “Window Seat”. “Window Seat” is the first single from her latest album, “New Amerykah Part Two: Return of the Ankh”. The video was shot in Dallas, Texas(the birthplace of Badu), in Daley Plaza, which is known as the site where President John F. Kennedy, Jr. was assassinated in 1963. It was shot guerilla-style, in one take. Controversy surrounds the video because Badu stripped down to nothing in broad daylight, in front of complete strangers, including young children. She was fined $500 for disorderly conduct, and is lucky, because the penalty could’ve been much worse. Had police officers been present to witness the act, she could’ve faced up to a year in a jail and a $4,000 fine. When hearing of this, most of her fans became outraged.

Why?! She broke the law! Point. Blank. Peri-ahd. Tons of artists have conveyed a point through song, dance, and video without having to get naked. I don’t believe it’s okay for anyone to make a mockery of the law, regardless of their intentions. Badu knew she was in the wrong; she and her camera crew immediately fled the scene after the video was done. All she had to do was obtain a permit, and she would’ve been allowed to shoot the video as she pleased. She didn’t. She was fully aware of the possible consequences and repercussions. She broke the law, and people are arguing that she’s been unfairly treated. Their main argument? “Artistic expression”.

As far as the “groupthink” theme of her video, please. This is something that a good number of us have been familiar with long before Badu brought the term to light. PoliSci, Critical Thinking 201, 2003, first semester, is when/where I first heard of it. Badu simply tied it into her extraterrestrial persona in order to get people giddy for her video/album. I read the tweets in which she asked people to define it. Most failed. In my opinion, if she’d shot the video without using the groupthink theme, most would’ve been confused as to what her message was. (She sings that she doesn’t want anyone to be near her, but also that she needs you to want her, to miss her, and even clap for her. Kind of confusing.) In addition, for her to feign her metaphorical assassination is ridiculous. To my knowledge, she’s been embraced her entire career because of her uniqueness. Whether it be her head wrap, song topics, her eccentric behavior, singing voice, or love interests, they’ve contributed to her fame. So how exactly could she “inspire” those that live outside of the box, when that’s the very thing that has brought her so many fans?

I won’t get into whether or not I think her video was a publicity stunt, or attempt to get pub for her latest album, even though I believe her nudity was more contrived than anything else. But enough of Ms. Badu…

I have a serious problem with those of you that have expressed outrage over the charge that she’s facing. I’d like to assume that she can pay a $500 fine, with no problem at all. I don’t have  any information in regards to her annual income, but again, I’d like to assume that she’s more than financially stable. Why do you, and so many other stans, cry out in pain over your favorite actors/actresses/athletes/rappers/entertainers being imprisoned/fined/having their names tarnished?

Celebrities are fully aware that they are different from everyone else, and will be treated differently from everyone else. Have any of you ever asked yourselves why celebrities constantly get free goods? Why they tend to get lighter sentences when a normal person would have the book thrown at them? Why you fawn over them even when they won’t show you the common courtesy of acknowledging you? Or why they get preferential treatment, period? Yes, there might be the rare occasion when a celebrity is targeted, but that is a rare occasion.

Talib Kweli used his Twitter account to suggest to people that they pray for Lil’ Wayne, who recently began a one-year prison sentence on a weapons charge. Mr. Kweli, really? Dwayne Carter is not a newbie when it comes to dealing with the judicial system. He knew he was in the wrong, and he is now paying the price. I did not read one tweet that reached out to Wayne’s fans, or better yet, his CHILDREN AND THE MOTHERS(yes, mothers)OF HIS CHILDREN. Or maybe it was lost among the “Pray for Lil’ Wayne” and “Stay up, Lil’ Wayne” tweets that came from your tear-soaked keyboard. Who’s really suffering more? Lil’ Wayne, who, unlike 98%(my own estimation, which may be off a percent or two)of released convicts, will have a career to return to, or his children and their mothers, who will live for the next year in constant fear that he will never return home. I’ll take the latter. I understand sticking up for a brother in your fraternity(as I’ve done many times), but use that “conscious” label and think about the people around him that have been affected in a negative way.

I express the same disdain towards those that blatantly ignore celebrities’ irresponsible acts. The example that sticks out most was the Paris Hilton DUI. So many people across the country acted as if she’d been sentenced to death. She spent 32 seconds in jail, even though she could’ve killed someone with her reckless behavior. The woman has millions of dollars to her name, and she couldn’t have hired a driver? Called a cab? Asked a sober person to drive her home? Please. Stans, stop. If she hadn’t been apprehended, driven off drunk, and killed someone you knew, would you feel the same? Unfortunately, I’m sure more than a few of you would’ve pulled some weak excuse out of your ass for her actions.

It’s gotten to the point where celebrities must feel that they can do just about anything short of killing or raping someone and still have a large fanbase. I feel this way because they continue to act as if they’re not in the limelight. It’s unfair that every little move they make is heavily scrutinized, but they could’ve just as easily turned down the fame and fortune, and worked a regular 9-to-5. Instead, they chose to take the good. It’s ludicrous that they don’t want to deal with the bad.

I’m not anti-celebrity, waiting for the next celeb to fall from their pedestal. I genuinely respect what most of them do, even if I don’t happen to be a fan of theirs. However, when they act with a total disregard for the law and their stans(because to some, unfortunately, they are role models), I can’t help but lose respect for them, and their stans as well.

Many of you are in school, have jobs, and are raising families. To overly concern yourselves with the lives of people that I’m 99.9% sure you’ll never make the acquaintance of is asinine. I wouldn’t say Ms. Badu, Mr. Carter, or Ms. Hilton don’t care about you, but if they and other celebs would think about who their actions affect(besides themselves), maybe they wouldn’t find themselves in such predicaments. It’s not a conundrum. You shouldn’t feel conflicted over a celebrity. Yes, these people are here to serve as entertainment, but they were people before they were celebrities. Please, remember that the next time you decide to protest their arrest, or defend their honor.

P.S. I miss Karen!!!

P.P.S. Dear Kerry Washington, If you want to make your own version of “Window Seat”, I wouldn’t have a problem with that at all. I’d even help you pay for legal representation if you were charged because of it. Sincerely, Erik

President Obama’s Bill of Rights…

It has been reported that President Barack Obama has rewritten the United States Bill of Rights. “I would first like to pay homage to James Madison, Thomas Jefferson, and all of its original supporters. Without these basic civil liberties, our society might not exist the way it does today. But, as I said during my inaugural speech, I am about change.”


President Obama talks about the new Bill of Rights...

The original Bill of Rights and The Obamaments:

First Amendment: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

First Obamament: This country is mostly a Christian nation, but will not shove it in everyone’s faces anymore. There will be no more swearing on the Bible in court, and “In God We Trust” will be taken off of all US currency. This country will make a more conscious effort to acknowledge followers of all religions, and those who are Atheists as well. Everyone can say what they want, as long as they think before they speak. TMZ, National Enquirer, The Sun, et cetera, will not be recognized as members of the press, but as douchebags from now on. Rallies will no longer be allowed, because we all know they’re just an excuse for people to miss work, or cause a scene.

Second Amendment: A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

Second Obamament: If you qualify for a permit/license, you can carry a gun. Only after you prove that you don’t have the aim of Shaquille O’Neal at the free-throw line.

Third Amendment: No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Third Obamament: It’s bad enough that some of you live with people that don’t pay rent/mortgage, bills, cook, clean, or even practice good hygiene. I assure you, that even in time of war, you won’t have to worry about a soldier firing a M-16 from your bathroom window, or having to take hand grenades out of a soldier’s dirty laundry. Your homes are your homes.

Fourth Amendment: The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Fourth Obamament: This amendment will basically remain the same. However, I plan to crack down on Chicago police officers with vivid imaginations.

Fifth Amendment: No person shall be held to answer for any capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Fifth Obamament: There will be an IQ test given to all members of a grand jury, and new measures are being put into place to ensure that members don’t exhibit any prejudices or discriminatory behavior. The same will go for military proceedings. For those with an extensive criminal record, you could find yourself subject to being tried twice if you aren’t convicted the first time. No whining. No longer will you be allowed to “plead the fifth”, and anybody who withholds information from law enforcement will be promptly charged with obstruction of justice and hit punched in the face by Manny Pacquiao. Your house and personal property cannot be taken from you unless you are/were a supporter of John McCain. And Gucci Mane.

Sixth Amendment: In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district where in the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.

Sixth Obamament: You will still be entitled to a trial in a reasonable amount of time. If you commit a crime that warrants you a spot on “World’s Dumbest Criminals”, your sentence will be much harsher. Trials will still be public, but shows like Sportscenter and Entertainment Tonight will be prohibited from reporting about them. Only unemployed people will serve jury duty.

Seventh Amendment: In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Seventh Obamament: Juries will still be allowed in civil cases. All judge shows, except Judge Judy, will be taken off the air immediately. Judge Joe Brown will be imprisoned for loquaciousness and incessant rambling.

Eighth Amendment: Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Eighth Obamament: Excessive bail and fines, nor cruel and unusual punishments will not be levied against you. Unless you are an arrogant, pompous, undeserving celebrity. Also, anyone that wears a “Free (insert celebrity name here)” tee shirt or urges others to pray for an imprisoned or embattled celebrity will be exiled from their communities and placed on a deserted island with other morons.

Ninth Amendment: The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Ninth Obamament: I hope that the majority of you are intelligent enough to know that you have more rights than those listed in the Constitution. If not, become a member of the Tea Party Movement.

Tenth Amendment: The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.

Tenth Obamament: If the Constitution doesn’t give a certain power to Congress, I trust that the states and the people will responsibly enforce certain laws, limits, rules, and regulations. If Sarah Palin holds political office, that state shall have its ability to govern its people taken away.

Respect my generation…

Let me start off by saying that I don’t have a problem with authority figures. I don’t buck authority whenever I get the chance. There have been times when I admitted to not being fond of the police, but I still have a great deal of respect for any non-corrupt man or woman that protects and serves with pride and dignity. I’ve had my fair share of battles with teachers and coaches, but I don’t feel that I’ve ever crossed a line. Yes, I’ve had plenty of arguments with Karen, but I always acknowledged how much she meant/means to me.

I’m fully aware that there are members of my generation that can have their attitudes summarized with one word: unruly. However, that is not the prerogative of all of us. We are not all hell-bent on making the lives of those around us harder. Regardless of what people of previous generations may think, most of us do not think that we are “all-knowing”, and don’t feel entitled to everything, while wanting to do nothing in the process. It’s absurd to think that we set out to screw up every opportunity given to us. Most of us are not infatuated with gangster rap, not content with moderate success, and we understand that it’s up to us, and nobody else, to make our future more than the coming hours, days, weeks, months, and years.

Still, we are labeled as rebellious, reckless, uneducated, thugs, promiscuous, carefree, brash, et cetera, et cetera. Talk to enough people that are 40 and older, and eventually you’ll hear “When I was younger…”, “These young people nowadays…”, or “I swear this generation…”. We are not held in high regards in those statements, most often. This unnerves me to no end, and is truly disheartening. It’s sad because these are people that should aim to mentor us, guide us down a better path, and be there for us in whatever way they can, rather than cut us down at every turn.

One example of this can be found in sports. You will often hear older and retired players make disparaging remarks about the current generation of players. They opine that current young players are only in it for the money, don’t respect the game or their predecessors, don’t work at their craft, and totally disregard their fans. Obviously, this is true when it comes to a few athletes, who have been criticized for their behavior recently.

We’ve seen the Allen Iverson press conference in which he openly mocked anyone who feels that he should attend practice everyday. We’ve heard Latrell Sprewell say that he would not play for the Minnesota Timberwolves because he didn’t like their contract offer of $30 million over 3 years. Due to make almost $15 million for the upcoming season, he backed up his stance with the reasoning, “I got my family to feed.” Anquan Boldin, now a wide receiver on the Baltimore Ravens, demanded a trade…because he wanted a contract extension that his previous team, the Arizona Cardinals, wasn’t ready to give him. Chris Andersen, a power forward for the Denver Nuggets, was suspended by the NBA for two years for violating its substance abuse policy. Other athletes in other sports(especially baseball)have been suspended for the same offense. We’ve seen Zinedine Zidane(an Algerian playing for the French national team)headbutt Marco Materazzi(Italian)during a soccer match, after Materazzi allegedly called him a terrorist. Those that watch hockey either saw or heard of Marty McSorley hitting Donald Brashear over the head with his stick, or Todd Bertuzzi blindsiding Steve Moore, causing him serious injuries. Although these are individual cases, it seems as if older, former players and even older sports fans attribute this behavior to the fact that this is a part of our generation’s way of living.

It’s very easy to say that you didn’t play the game for money when there wasn’t much to be made. It’s easy to put down an athlete that demands a trade when trades were unheard of decades ago. The same goes for free agency, signing bonuses, and endorsement deals. Include violence, to an extent. Conveniently, many of these older people leave out the fact that Ty Cobb was a racist, Wilt Chamberlain and Babe Ruth were womanizers, the 1919 White Sox threw the World Series for money, Pete Rose gambled, committing baseball’s cardinal sin, Mickey Mantle was a drunk during his playing days, and Jim Brown and Ted Williams weren’t the nicest people around.

One claim that I have huge problem with is the notion that we’re spoiled. I’ve never understood how older adults could complain about how today’s youth is spoiled when they’re the ones that made us this way. I vividly remember seeing many of my elementary, junior high, and high school classmates wearing the latest pair of Jordans, $250 Coogi sweaters, girls with $300 Coach bags, and guys with $600 leather jackets. Of course, we asked for them, but if we heard “no”, I’m sure that it wouldn’t have killed us. Say what you want, but if somebody agrees to buy you something that you want(especially when you’re in high school, and think popularity is everything), most times, you’ll accept it.

In addition, most of these “marketing execs” aren’t 20-25 years old. The people that spend hour after hour trying to figure out how to sell their product at inflated prices sure don’t have a moral compass, yet we’re the ones that are ridiculed and insulted because we happen to be the chief consumers. I understand that superficiality and materalism seem to run rampant now, but the only thing we’ve been spoiled by are a plethora of ways to express ourselves. Don’t be upset with us because we’re not living in the monotonous 60s and 70s.

As for implications that my generation doesn’t value ourselves or society, I’m afraid I have to call bullshit. Really? Are you serious? Granted, we didn’t have to deal with Jim Crow, or the civil rights issues of the 60s and 70s. Yes, the war in Iraq and Afghanistan are what many people my age will tell our grandchildren about when we’re of that age, but they pale in comparison to World War I and II, and the Vietnam War. Men aren’t losing their lives in coal mines, and women have every opportunity to be successful, unlike the obstacles that men and women faced in the US many years ago. For the most part, we have it slightly easier than our parents and grandparents did.

Yet, at the same time, I feel that it’s harder than ever to simply survive. In what is supposed to be the greatest nation on Earth, we are struggling to get jobs, pay for college, and clear debt. Gangs populate neighborhoods, we’re losing friends everyday, and(due to our own irresponsibility, for the most part), are bringing children into this world when we’re still, honestly, children ourselves. Consider the political climate of this country, and you have a recipe for a rough future.

If we stand up for something, we’re seen as rebels and disrespectful. I know more than a few 40-, 50- something people that have gushed about “free love”. How easy it is to be a whore when you don’t have to worry about the ramifications of your actions. We don’t enjoy the same luxury. With the STDs present, we can’t afford to give ourselves to anyone that’s available. Penicillin doesn’t cure any serious ailment besides strep throat, to my knowledge. Neither can we afford to melt our minds with hardcore drugs. It is a “kill or be killed” world now, from sports to corporate settings, and we simply can’t waste years of our lives being intoxicated, inebriated, or incapacitated. I know that this doesn’t apply to every person twice my age, but again, it’s amazing how these things can be glorified, depending on who you speak to. How do you think a 2010 Woodstock would be perceived?

Yes, there are members of my generation that cause me to shake my head in bewilderment. I find myself dumbfounded at what some of my peers stand for. Gucci Mane, Tyler Perry, gang warfare, illiteracy, dishonesty, and irresponsibility are just a few of the things that have me feeling like we don’t understand as a generation that we’re capable of so much more than perpetuating negative stereotypes. That doesn’t give anyone the right to make a blanket statement about my generation, though. It seriously pains me to hear older people constantly make generalizations about my generation from their self-righteous thrones. After all, they were our age once, and their beliefs and actions were called into question by their parents and grandparents. So I’m a little confused by all of the shock about our decision to live life the way we choose to. And for some reason, some don’t believe me when I say the generation gap is steadily widening…

P.S. I miss Karen!!!

P.P.S. If you were offended by this post, you might want to reevaluate your way of thinking…

I guess John Mayer has your attention now…

John, you got some splainin' to do!!!

I’m going to assume that unless you don’t have a Twitter or Facebook page, tv, access to the internet, or friends, you’ve heard of John Mayer’s interview with Playboy. In it he made a few controversial comments. He revealed that he was a zit-faced, insecure teenager. When he was 19, 20 years old, he was very arrogant, actually refusing to give demos to record label presidents. He prefers to masturbate to thoughts of ex-girlfriends and not going out, meeting someone new, and having sex with her. He called a hood pass a “nigger pass”. And the doozy: He believes that his penis is a white supremacist. “I don’t think I open myself to it [dating Black women]. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.” That did it for a good number of Black people, especially Black women on Twitter. Here are a few tweets (names left out):

So apparently John Mayer gets an erection when he sees a lynching.

Black women are too much for john mayer anyways, he would come home to get his head bashed in with his guitar fucking wit a sister

John Mayer saying he wouldn’t have sex w/ a black women.. I can’t wait til’ the day a rich black man say they wldnt sleep w./ a white women.

John Mayer is honestly one of those over confident punk ass white boys that I always so desperately wanna smack in the face

Fortunately, a good number of Black people didn’t see his comments as racist, just moronic. After all, we ALL have preferences. I know I don’t find myself attracted to women that are grossly overweight, and of course, stupid and ignorant. That’s my personal preference. Some men actually prefer women that are seriously overweight, and then there are some that want women that lack intelligence. I’ve heard from more than a few Black women that they’re not attracted to White men (even my girlfriend has confessed that her mother told her not to bring home a White man unless he’s rich, which is horrible), so I’m not completely sure what all the fuss was about.

Could Mayer have worded his choice of women differently? Of course, he would’ve made the situation better by carefully choosing his words. But he does have a reputation as an asshole, and he seems to fully embrace it. It’s why some people are fans of his, because he doesn’t take himself very seriously. I wasn’t totally shocked at most of his comments, but I do have a few questions, though.

Did anyone find this comment troubling?: “I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.” Now, I have always been a very good reader. Not just because I could pronounce large words at a very young age, but because I could read passages and actually comprehend what I had just read. I understood that “Mayerism” as: “I’m an asshole, and I can be a little too much at times. If you don’t get that, just call me ignorant. But the world needs a little ignorance. And that, is why I have so many Black fans.” I initially read an excerpt of his interview, containing 10 of the more controversial Mayerisms. When I saw this one, I have to say that I was appalled. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the average Black person isn’t a fan of John Mayer (although a good number of Whites, Hispanics, Asians, etc aren’t either). The ones that are fans are often considered “uppity” “bourgeois”, or they’re often said to be (my personal favorite) “acting White”. I am a John Mayer fan. I think “Continuum” is dope and liked “Heavier Things” after hearing it a few times. Mayer is an excellent guitarist, but not the greatest songwriter and singer. I compare his comment to one a former friend (Black) of mine made about the lack of Black baseball fans. “Blacks don’t watch baseball because it’s not flashy enough. If there were more players that did wild and crazy shit, more Blacks would watch.” Again, he is a former friend.

Why wasn’t more made of his comment that a hood pass is basically a nigger pass? First, I want to say that I don’t think he was calling Blacks niggers. I believe that he was insinuating that he didn’t understand how he could get a hood pass when he’s never experienced some of the hardships that so many Blacks have. Moving on… I, for one, don’t equivocate hood to black, and I think it’s safe to say that despite the proper definition, when most of us hear the word “nigger” we immediately think of ignorant Black people, which would explain the outrage among Black people. I think hood has to do more with an urban upbringing and attitude. Black people aren’t the only ones that grow up in urban areas, use urban dialect, and carry themselves in an urban way. I have White, Hispanic, European, and Asian friends that I consider hood, or urban. Not because I feel they’re “acting black” but because of their mannerisms, the way they dress, and some of the things that they’re interested in. When Mayer stated, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’”, I had to think of my experiences in various restaurants in which I felt I was wrongly treated. I’ve never seen empty tables and been told that there was no seating available because I’m Black. To be honest, I’ve been kicked out of (and banned from several) establishments when I was with White friends, and that was because we were unruly, and abused our rights as patrons. I’m not saying that this doesn’t happen to Blacks; being told a blatant lie. However, it’s not the “typical Black experience”, regardless of what some Blacks may say.

Black women, did you even notice that Mayer spoke about a stereotype of White women that, unfortunately, many Black people share with him? “And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” During my first year of college, I had a White girlfriend. I didn’t catch flack from anyone but Black people for it (even though I’m sure there were a few White people who weren’t too fond of our relationship). Some of my Black friends would tell me things  like “Man, you better not do her wrong. White chicks are crazy.” or “There’s something wrong with White girls in the head”. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what they were talking about. Sure, she was a little crazy. But I also was with a Black, English, and Greek girl who I would’ve suggested some sort of counseling to. Ask enough Black people about their opinions of White women, however, and you’re pretty likely to hear something like what Mayer and my “friends” said: White women are a different kind of crazy. I’m not for stereotypes of anyone. I don’t think they’re funny, and I think it’s wrong that Blacks tend to ignore stereotypes about people besides themselves. It seemed that some Black women were so consumed by the fact that John Mayer isn’t attracted to them (kind of a contradiction when he started naming Black women that he found attractive, like Hillary Banks from “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”) that they didn’t even realize that he put down White women, who share some of the same struggles in society that they do. I won’t even write about my love of Kerry Washington, and the fact that I lost a little bit of respect for Mayer because he dissed her.

I find it very alarming that on various social networking sites and blogs, Blacks were in an uproar about Mayer’s interview. Where the hell was all of this disgust when R. Kelly was on trial for not only urinating on, but having sex with an underage girl? Why were there so many outside of the courtroom with “Free Robert” and “R. Kelly Is Innocent” signs? If that girl in the tape (regardless of whether it was consensual or not) were your sister, cousin, niece, or daughter, would you still have rallied behind him? The fact that a Black man degraded a young Black woman should’ve made him more enemies, but it seems that he gained even more fan support because of the case. I hear from people who say they’re sad that Lil’ Wayne will be sent to prison. Praying for TI, Gucci Mane, and Lil’ Boosie’s safety. People tweeting that they hope Waka Flocka gets better after being shot, but not taking the time to acknowledge the death and destruction in Haiti. Worried about the beef between Beanie Sigel and Jay-Z (which I don’t buy for one second), but seemingly oblivious to the fact that the US is at war in Iraq and Afghanistan, losing brave soldiers everyday. That saddens me way more than Mayer’s interview with…wait for it…Playboy. I doubt that if Newsweek or TIME were interviewing Mayer, he would’ve answered those questions in that way. And if you’re remotely familiar with Mayer the man and not the musician, you’d know that most of what he does and says is for shock value. That doesn’t excuse his stupidity and ignorance, but this isn’t the first time that he’s put his foot in his mouth.

Did Mayer say anything racist? In my opinion, no. Obviously there were people that misconstrued his comments as racist. As a celebrity, he should understand that everything he says and does will be scrutinized heavily, which I think is absolute bullshit. I’m pretty sure some of the Black women that were upset about his comments aren’t attracted to White men themselves, which slightly reeks of hypocrisy. In a country with a shaky federal government, unemployment at an all-time high, children having children, sickness, obesity, racial gentrification, too many of us (speaking mostly to Blacks now) choose to use our voices to opine about how offended we are that John Mayer chooses not to get his rocks off with Black women. Two words, one question: WHO CARES???

P.S. I miss Karen!!!

P.P.S. Leave Kerry alone, John, or you’ll lose your biggest fan on the south side of Chicago, capeesh?