i didn’t make you live this damn long

this morning, I encountered one of those old people on the bus… you know, the ones who feel as though they’re entitled to everyfuckingthing (typically in terms of respect) from young people just because they have lived on the earth as long as moses. well. I’ve come to say one thing to them, fuck you.

I am well aware that I am being disrespectful, but I am doing it for a reason. I do NOT see the need to respect someone who is rude to me. I am not going to treat a 5-y/o with respect if they don’t show it to me, so why would I show it to someone older just because they are older?

when someone shows respect for me, I will do the same for them.

I didn’t give them a hard ass life, I didn’t make them stay on the earth since dinosaurs were born. you have a problem with how long you’ve lived, or how hard life has been, don’t take that shit out on me, as one of the people I follow (@amberalert123) likes to say, #takeitupwithchrist.

old people have done that shit for far too long. how many of us have visited an old aunt/cousin/family friend who has felt the need to ask/tell us, “you’re getting fat,” or “why are you dressed like a floozy,” or, “when are you going to get married,” whatever the fuck other intrusive ass, unnecessary ass potentially offensive shit? well I don’t see the need to just accept it and laugh it off. if the shit is rude, I will let an old motherfucker know. and that goes for any person.

now, this is not to say that I don’t recognize that some old people are sweet, loving, and cute. those get my respect, not only for their age, but because they are nice.

get your grandmothers, people, cuz I’m not gonna kiss the ass of some old person because they demand I do so. rude bastards.

Ted Lilly is my homeboy…

First, allow me to give you a “brief” rundown of the 2006 season for your Chicago Cubs. Terrible.

Now, allow me to give you a “Cubs fan’s” rundown of the 2006 season for your Chicago Cubs.

C-Michael Barrett: A guy who started with Montreal and eventually became one of the majors’ better offensive catchers with the Cubs(while in his prime). Missed time in ’06 due to injury, but still posted good numbers. Fell off in ’07, and was traded to the Blue Jays.

IF-1B Derrek Lee, who in 2005 had one of the best all-around offensive seasons of all-time, broke his wrist in April, and was shelved. The wrist gave him problems later in the season, shelving him again. (Some of my nerd friends think that’s why his power numbers have been nowhere near what he produced in 2005. SUCKY TRAINERS, see Mark Prior, Kerry Wood) 2B/SS Ronny Cedeno, Ryan Theriot, Tony Womack, Todd Walker(Why are we trusting Millar, when a much younger, better Walker didn’t bring any of the damn ’04 “magic”?), Neifi Perez, and there are a few I’m sure I missed. It’s sad that out of this group, Theriot EASILY outperformed them. I thought Riot was going to be Dustin Pedroia before there was a Dustin Pedroia, seriously. Cedeno, as fashionable as he looked on the field, SUCKED, and the rest were random bums. 3B Aramis Ramirez had an excellent season, but again they were empty numbers. Do it down the stretch, ARam.

OF-LF Jacque Jones had a good, but not great season, and RF Matt Murton would’ve probably looked better in right in a Cubs uni than Fukudome and Bradley. Yes, he was part of the deal that enabled the Cubs to trade for Rich Harden, but again…Fukudome and Bradley. CF Juan Pierre did exactly what was expected of him. Steal 50+ bases, get on base at less than a 35% clip, and have his arm taken advantage of as if someone had injected roofies into it before every game.

SP-RHP Carlos Zambrano was the majors’ best 200K/100BB pitcher. RHP Kerry Wood? “Hot Tub”. No comment. RHP Mark Prior came back from a freakish elbow fracture in 2005 to post pretty good numbers, but his 2006 season was atrocious. After that, it went completely downhill for our Trojan friend. Oh, and if you wanted to see “terrible”, you should’ve seen Carlos Marmol. There were countless times in 2006 when I called for him to be traded for a case of root beer. RHP Greg Maddux was…not good. LHP Rich Hill irritated me then, when he was actually pretty decent, and, as much as I loathed Marmol, I detested the soft-tossing LHP Sean Marshall.

RP-Yes, the lame Ryan Dempster. The guy, who like about 1,000 comedians/comediennes(yes, I’ve seen women, too)in CHICAGO, does a Harry Caray impression. He was Kevin Gregg, just in Canadian form. I went to about every Cubs home game that summer, and I let him have it, all the way from Aisle 425. I really can’t badmouth the bullpen too much, because that was basically the strength of their pitching staff, sad to say. Yes, that includes Bob Howry and Steve Ire.

Manager-Dusty Baker was a lame duck. Point. Blank. Peri-ahd. Dusty Baker was/is responsible for getting Cubs fans away from using the “Lovable Losers” label for their team. All of a sudden, this was what was expected. Unlike the atmosphere after the ’98 season, when Cubs fans were just happy to be able to call Sammy Sosa and Kerry Wood their own. Cubs fans got away from the “happy to be here” tag right after the 2003 NLCS. The Cubs were in playoff contention in ’04 before choking down the stretch, and they were a team that lost Wood and Prior for stretches. It was the same with Wood and Prior the next season(this was before the Cubs realized they had two glass-armed aces and put together contingency plans), and the Cubs finished a few games under .500. The 2006 Cubs were just BAD, and Dusty Baker was the fall guy.

And now, on to December, 2006.

Watching Baseball Tonight, as per usual, I saw a story about Cubs general manager Jim Hendry signing free agent LHP Ted Lilly. ‘Nice’, I thought. For four years and $40 million. ‘Dumb’, I thought. What made this signing sound even dumber at the time were the circumstances under which it took place. Jim Hendry, a man who had signed free agent LF Alfonso Soriano to a “sizable” deal and re-signed ARam to one as well, completed the deal with Lilly while in the hospital, hooked to an EKG. For Steve Carlton? Yes. For Ted Lilly? Yahoo IM me if you want to sign. All I knew about Lilly was that he was a stoic-looking lefty that had gotten into a confrontation/altercation with Blue Jays manager, John Gibbons. I personally thought it was awesome.

How's my breath?

Little did I know that Theodore Roosevelt Lilly would become the Cubs best pitcher since the start of the 2007 season. He takes the bump every 5 days, looking as plain as white bread, and does his job. Nothing flashy, just consistent. I feel better about his chances to give the Cubs a chance to win every time he starts than any other Cubs starter in recent memory. I don’t even want him to rush back from his injuries. A 100% Lilly is easily the ace of the Cubs starting rotation. If I have a son, he will be a lefthanded pitcher, modeled after Lilly. And just when I thought Teddy couldn’t get any doper, he TRUCKED St. Louis Cardinals Yadier Molina(which eventually caused him to be removed him from the game), pitched 8 innings, got the win, in September…in St. Louis.

Ted Lilly don't take no guff...

I understand that the Cubs probably wouldn’t have signed Ted Lilly if they had a better 2006. I’m sure that if Wood and Prior were healthy, along with Zambrano and Hill, there would’ve been no need for Lilly. The same could possibly be said about Alfonso Soriano, that the Cubs wouldn’t have reached for him if they were coming off a 2003-like season. But unlike Soriano, Ted Lilly is that dude. You know exactly what you’re going to get from him, unlike most of the other knuckleheads currently being employed by the Cubs. Lilly might not be back after this season. The same goes for DLee. Bet that if the Cubs are out of contention by the All-Star break, Lilly and D. Lee would be the first to go. So appreciate “The Stoic One” for as long as you can…

P.S. I miss Karen!!!

P.P.S. Whatever happened to Scott Servais?

Respect my generation…

Let me start off by saying that I don’t have a problem with authority figures. I don’t buck authority whenever I get the chance. There have been times when I admitted to not being fond of the police, but I still have a great deal of respect for any non-corrupt man or woman that protects and serves with pride and dignity. I’ve had my fair share of battles with teachers and coaches, but I don’t feel that I’ve ever crossed a line. Yes, I’ve had plenty of arguments with Karen, but I always acknowledged how much she meant/means to me.

I’m fully aware that there are members of my generation that can have their attitudes summarized with one word: unruly. However, that is not the prerogative of all of us. We are not all hell-bent on making the lives of those around us harder. Regardless of what people of previous generations may think, most of us do not think that we are “all-knowing”, and don’t feel entitled to everything, while wanting to do nothing in the process. It’s absurd to think that we set out to screw up every opportunity given to us. Most of us are not infatuated with gangster rap, not content with moderate success, and we understand that it’s up to us, and nobody else, to make our future more than the coming hours, days, weeks, months, and years.

Still, we are labeled as rebellious, reckless, uneducated, thugs, promiscuous, carefree, brash, et cetera, et cetera. Talk to enough people that are 40 and older, and eventually you’ll hear “When I was younger…”, “These young people nowadays…”, or “I swear this generation…”. We are not held in high regards in those statements, most often. This unnerves me to no end, and is truly disheartening. It’s sad because these are people that should aim to mentor us, guide us down a better path, and be there for us in whatever way they can, rather than cut us down at every turn.

One example of this can be found in sports. You will often hear older and retired players make disparaging remarks about the current generation of players. They opine that current young players are only in it for the money, don’t respect the game or their predecessors, don’t work at their craft, and totally disregard their fans. Obviously, this is true when it comes to a few athletes, who have been criticized for their behavior recently.

We’ve seen the Allen Iverson press conference in which he openly mocked anyone who feels that he should attend practice everyday. We’ve heard Latrell Sprewell say that he would not play for the Minnesota Timberwolves because he didn’t like their contract offer of $30 million over 3 years. Due to make almost $15 million for the upcoming season, he backed up his stance with the reasoning, “I got my family to feed.” Anquan Boldin, now a wide receiver on the Baltimore Ravens, demanded a trade…because he wanted a contract extension that his previous team, the Arizona Cardinals, wasn’t ready to give him. Chris Andersen, a power forward for the Denver Nuggets, was suspended by the NBA for two years for violating its substance abuse policy. Other athletes in other sports(especially baseball)have been suspended for the same offense. We’ve seen Zinedine Zidane(an Algerian playing for the French national team)headbutt Marco Materazzi(Italian)during a soccer match, after Materazzi allegedly called him a terrorist. Those that watch hockey either saw or heard of Marty McSorley hitting Donald Brashear over the head with his stick, or Todd Bertuzzi blindsiding Steve Moore, causing him serious injuries. Although these are individual cases, it seems as if older, former players and even older sports fans attribute this behavior to the fact that this is a part of our generation’s way of living.

It’s very easy to say that you didn’t play the game for money when there wasn’t much to be made. It’s easy to put down an athlete that demands a trade when trades were unheard of decades ago. The same goes for free agency, signing bonuses, and endorsement deals. Include violence, to an extent. Conveniently, many of these older people leave out the fact that Ty Cobb was a racist, Wilt Chamberlain and Babe Ruth were womanizers, the 1919 White Sox threw the World Series for money, Pete Rose gambled, committing baseball’s cardinal sin, Mickey Mantle was a drunk during his playing days, and Jim Brown and Ted Williams weren’t the nicest people around.

One claim that I have huge problem with is the notion that we’re spoiled. I’ve never understood how older adults could complain about how today’s youth is spoiled when they’re the ones that made us this way. I vividly remember seeing many of my elementary, junior high, and high school classmates wearing the latest pair of Jordans, $250 Coogi sweaters, girls with $300 Coach bags, and guys with $600 leather jackets. Of course, we asked for them, but if we heard “no”, I’m sure that it wouldn’t have killed us. Say what you want, but if somebody agrees to buy you something that you want(especially when you’re in high school, and think popularity is everything), most times, you’ll accept it.

In addition, most of these “marketing execs” aren’t 20-25 years old. The people that spend hour after hour trying to figure out how to sell their product at inflated prices sure don’t have a moral compass, yet we’re the ones that are ridiculed and insulted because we happen to be the chief consumers. I understand that superficiality and materalism seem to run rampant now, but the only thing we’ve been spoiled by are a plethora of ways to express ourselves. Don’t be upset with us because we’re not living in the monotonous 60s and 70s.

As for implications that my generation doesn’t value ourselves or society, I’m afraid I have to call bullshit. Really? Are you serious? Granted, we didn’t have to deal with Jim Crow, or the civil rights issues of the 60s and 70s. Yes, the war in Iraq and Afghanistan are what many people my age will tell our grandchildren about when we’re of that age, but they pale in comparison to World War I and II, and the Vietnam War. Men aren’t losing their lives in coal mines, and women have every opportunity to be successful, unlike the obstacles that men and women faced in the US many years ago. For the most part, we have it slightly easier than our parents and grandparents did.

Yet, at the same time, I feel that it’s harder than ever to simply survive. In what is supposed to be the greatest nation on Earth, we are struggling to get jobs, pay for college, and clear debt. Gangs populate neighborhoods, we’re losing friends everyday, and(due to our own irresponsibility, for the most part), are bringing children into this world when we’re still, honestly, children ourselves. Consider the political climate of this country, and you have a recipe for a rough future.

If we stand up for something, we’re seen as rebels and disrespectful. I know more than a few 40-, 50- something people that have gushed about “free love”. How easy it is to be a whore when you don’t have to worry about the ramifications of your actions. We don’t enjoy the same luxury. With the STDs present, we can’t afford to give ourselves to anyone that’s available. Penicillin doesn’t cure any serious ailment besides strep throat, to my knowledge. Neither can we afford to melt our minds with hardcore drugs. It is a “kill or be killed” world now, from sports to corporate settings, and we simply can’t waste years of our lives being intoxicated, inebriated, or incapacitated. I know that this doesn’t apply to every person twice my age, but again, it’s amazing how these things can be glorified, depending on who you speak to. How do you think a 2010 Woodstock would be perceived?

Yes, there are members of my generation that cause me to shake my head in bewilderment. I find myself dumbfounded at what some of my peers stand for. Gucci Mane, Tyler Perry, gang warfare, illiteracy, dishonesty, and irresponsibility are just a few of the things that have me feeling like we don’t understand as a generation that we’re capable of so much more than perpetuating negative stereotypes. That doesn’t give anyone the right to make a blanket statement about my generation, though. It seriously pains me to hear older people constantly make generalizations about my generation from their self-righteous thrones. After all, they were our age once, and their beliefs and actions were called into question by their parents and grandparents. So I’m a little confused by all of the shock about our decision to live life the way we choose to. And for some reason, some don’t believe me when I say the generation gap is steadily widening…

P.S. I miss Karen!!!

P.P.S. If you were offended by this post, you might want to reevaluate your way of thinking…

Dear Congressman Joe Wilson…

So you believe President Obama is a liar. Or, at least, on one occasion. You vehemently disagree with Obama’s stance on healthcare reform. You probably believe there will be death panels, and that illegal immigrants will be covered if HR 3200 is a reality. I’m pretty sure you’re worried about where the money to support such a plan will come from. Worried that many Americans will have to forfeit their current plans, and if they refuse, will face a heavy fine. It’s not hard for me to believe that you think Obama is a *trying to keep a straight face* Socialist. As not only a political figure from the great state of South Carolina, but as an American citizen, you are free to form your own opinions on our current commander-in-chief. There’s nothing wrong with you, in your heart of hearts, thinking that Obama is nothing more than a shady, sneaky, two-faced liar. Believe that he doesn’t have this country’s best interests at heart. Tell yourself that he’s slowly driving this country into an economic sinkhole, and that in several years, the US will be worse off than it’s ever been. As an American, you’re entitled to fully exercise the First Amendment: Freedom of speech. However, there’s a certain code of decorum that you, along with every other political figure should follow. I understand it was hard for you and fellow Republicans to sit in that chamber and hear Obama deliver what you all probably felt was a crock of shit. Imagine how Democrats felt EVERYTIME Bush spoke. Still, I go back to using tact. To interrupt OUR president with an unexpected “You lie!”, while he was trying to convey a serious point to us ALL, was flat-out disrespectful. Not so much the words, but the timing. In sports, players are to never call out a coach in public, and vice versa. Ask anyone in sports, and they’ll tell you that those matters should be dealt with behind closed doors. Not only because it’s horrible to publicly drag someone’s name through the mud, but because public outburts show a lack of unity and cohesiveness. People on the outside would view that team as dysfunctional, and more about the individual rather than the team. To show President Obama up on national tv was wrong, and you knew AND know as much. I understand you were “advised” to call the White House and apologize, but you still went through with it. So I’m guessing you have a SLIGHT amount of remorse. Even some of your fellow Republicans were shocked and appalled at your outlandish display of disrespect. From a racial standpoint, man…you really screwed up. Your outburst gave more Blacks more reasons to believe that the main reason for such opposition of this administration is purely racial. That a Black man cannot articulate himself without giving people false hope. That underneath the smile, laid-back attitude, and simple haircut, lies a nigger. The same Blacks feel that that’s why Obama was met with a hearty chorus of “No” when it was announced that he would be speaking to schoolchildren about the importance of…an education. The same Blacks that feel that since January 4, 2009, a political witch hunt has been orchestrated to get Obama out of office as quickly as possible. And not because of his political stance, but moreso because of the color of his skin. I know I’ve made the joke that Republicans would probably nitpick over how Obama pronounces “the”, just to knock him down a peg. Congressman Wilson, you’ve only added fuel to the fire. Democrats will most likely look at your party as a little more ignorant, while Blacks will most likely see it as a little more racist. I wish that I could say that your outburst was more politically than racially charged. But, to be honest, I don’t know. The first Black president(also half-White)of the United States walked into a shitstorm with a brand-new white linen suit on. He did that without Republicans’ pessimism and countless accusations, and various attempts to assassinate his character. It’s a hard enough job as it is.. And you just made it harder for many of us to believe that you want to make it any easier for him. Stay up, Congressman Wilson. P.S. I miss Karen!!! P.P.S. #shoutout to @Brandon_Gilmore, @midlifechick @GingerDuPree, Prof. Jacobs(dopest Nati. Gov. prof in the history of college), J Earl, Stephonie, Tiara in her tiara, and all of my fellow Political Science-lovin’ nerds…